Surviving Winter

For the past several weeks we’ve had three frogs smaller than my thumb living in our window box.  At times, they’ll latch onto the window and press their fat bellies up against the glass. They’re cute little guys.  The other day, however, I suddenly became worried about our tiny friends.  The weather is becoming cool and crisp and I’ve eagerly pulled out my scarves and sweaters to keep me warm.  But these frogs don’t have that privilege.  They obviously don’t migrate, so they’re stuck here.  What happens to them once the temperatures drop even more?  

This past week I have also been reflecting on a devotional I read by Paul Tripp titled “The Wrong Address.” In it he encourages Christians to take heart because 1) When and where we live is never a mistake 2) Our life hasn’t worked according to our plans because it’s part of a bigger plan 3) God has us just where He wants us 4) God has a wonderful purpose for bringing into our lives the things that we now face 5) God does all of this so that He’ll always be near. Click HERE to Read

So what do baby frogs and an online devotional have to do with each other?  Well, I've been struck recently by the diversity of suffering.  It seems that everyone is hurting, but no one is struggling with the same thing.  Sure, there may be general areas of overlap, but each person's trials are unique.  I thus found the frogs to be a sweet reminder that all of creation can point us to the glorious story our Father is specifically weaving in each one of us.   

For example, it's been my opinion that these frogs are at the wrong address!  As great as our window box may be, they should be some place warmer.  In fact, if I were a frog, I’d want to pay a visit to my froggy friends in Florida right about now. Minnesota is better suited for animals with furry coats and humans bundled up like little Randy from A Christmas Story, right?  So why are they here? Well, in Minnesnowta where it would seem impossible for frogs to survive the winter, God has placed these three little guys in our window box and given them an antifreeze-like blood to see them through the freeze and thaw of winter.  Antifreeze-blood?!  Just let that sink in for a moment. God placed them where He willed and will flood their system with what they need to survive come colder weather.  Amazingly, God has equipped them specifically for the harshness of Minnesota.  They are not lacking. Likewise, when we are brought to our knees through trials and hardships, it’s easy to feel like we are at the wrong address.  I confess I often ask, Why this? Why me?  Why now? Why here?  Like a tiny frog about to undergo the harshness of a dark and cold winter, the trails we face often seem impossible to bear.  Will we ever see the Spring again?  Yes, yes we will! Winter does not have the last say for these frogs for come Spring, these frogs will croak again.  Likewise, God will put His strength in our weakness so that we too will not be lacking.  As dark as the days may be, we will see the Spring because Christ endured and conquered the harshest of winters for us--sin, death, and the power of Satan.  And so though our sufferings and trials may last a lifetime, we have tasted the warmth and light of Spring in the Gospel and therefore rejoice even in the coldest months of Winter knowing that one day we will see Christ face to face.  Until then, we do not lose heart because "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,  and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade--kept in heaven for you,  who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.  In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials [...]" (1 Peter 1:3-6). 

Remembering back to my freshman year biology class, we learned that various environments are suited to different species.  In our lecture on niches, we learned that a niche is both a habitat that supplies the necessary factors for the existence of a given species and also an organism's specific role in its given community.  Couldn’t it be said then that we too as Christians have a providentially assigned “niche”, a place where God has placed us and appointed us to live and thrive? But what is that place and how are we called to live? Personally, I feel entitled to a niche where I am most comfortable—I’m doing what I want, when I want, with who I want.  That’s my flesh though and it’s all about me.  But our niche really isn't about us at all--it's about Christ and what will bring Him the most glory. The place we live, the people we interact with and the trials and circumstances that come our way are the niche given to use by our wise, loving, and sovereign Father who ordains all things for our good and His glory. In fact, I think it is precisely because God is wise and loving that He takes us where we would never go on our own to give us what we could never gain on our own--greater intimacy with Him. 

The following is one of my favorite quotes by C.S. Lewis. He writes, “In each of my friends there is something that only some other friend can fully bring out. By myself I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity; I want other lights than my own to show all his facets...”  If a friend has facets, surely the great God of the universe has infinite facets!  And maybe that's why God places us at different addresses, for in our providentially assigned niche, we come to see some facet of God's character more clearly.  As a diverse group of believers striving to know our Father more deeply and love Him more sweetly, we should aim to glorify God by sharing in community the love and care and mercy He has shown us, thereby inviting others to taste the joy we have experienced firsthand.  

And so, I was encouraged by our little window box friends because I was reminded that just as our Father sustains His creatures in every terrain (yes, even Minnesota!), so too He sustains His children spiritually wherever He has placed them and called them to live.  He doesn't waste pain and He doesn't send us trials to strip us of our joy.  Rather, He uses suffering as a means of our sanctification by drawing us together as a community and giving us a deeper, truer, lasting joy--Himself.  May we cling to Christ and grow in our ability to say "But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.  We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh.  So death is at work in us, but life in you" (2 Corinthians 4:7-12). 

My thoughts were a bit all over the place, so if you read this far, thanks for bearing with me!

An Open Letter to the Church from a Lesbian

  An Open Letter to the Church from a Lesbian

"You are willing to compromise the word of God to be politically correct. We are not deceived. If we accept your willingness to compromise, then we must also compromise...We do not ask for your acceptance of our sins any more than we accept yours. We simply ask for the same support, love, guidance, and most of all hope that is given to the rest of your congregation. We are your brothers and sisters in Christ. We are not what we shall be, but thank God, we are not what we were. Let us work together to see that we all arrive safely home."

Our Testimony, God's Story

Our stories—with both their past and ongoing heartaches, sins, rebellions and joys—are beautiful testimonies of God’s redeeming love and boundless grace towards us.  Every aspect of our testimony, from our prodigal son-like recklessness to humble repentance, contributes to our story.  Both the tragedies and triumphs are knit together in such a manner that they cannot and should not be separated—victories do not bring joy without the struggle that precedes them, and satisfying and beautiful rest is not seen as such apart from contrasting trials. And so you cannot have the one without the other—tragedy and triumph go hand-in-hand.  

When it comes to my testimony, I confess that at times I prefer to “leave out” some details, especially when it relates to my own shortcomings. Yet God has faithfully worked on me with His divine brush, so why do I attempt to paint a different picture of my life?  At times I’m ashamed of what I did and who I was—ashamed that I lived as I did and didn’t have my life more “together”.   In other instances, my pride influences what I share.  If something makes me look better, I’ll share it.  If it cuts to the root of my sinful heart, however, it’s conveniently left out.  In such instances, my shame and pride display both arrogance and a resistance to share my own struggles.

Maybe we wish our testimony was somehow different. Perhaps we think to ourselves:

If only I hadn’t been so stubborn in my sin… 

If only I would have repented sooner…

 If only I would have surrendered myself to Christ before this or that happened...

 If only I didn’t backslide…

Or maybe upon hearing the testimony of another, we hesitate to share ours, thinking:

How on earth am I supposed to follow on the heels of that testimony? Compared to that story, mine isn’t that profound.  I wish I had a more radical, compelling story.  Mine pales in comparison…

Or maybe we even feel:

Wow, their “sinful living” was nothing compared to the darkness I embraced.  They’ve hardly done anything wrong.  I feel so dirty compared to them.  Maybe I shouldn’t share my full story.  They’ll either be offended or write me off if they know the full extent of who I once was…who I am…

I think Satan hurls these lies against us in the hopes of keeping us from sharing our testimonies.  Why? I believe that in causing us to feel self-conscious or insecure about our story, the evil one hopes to turn our focus inward.  Our story, however, isn’t really ours —it’s God’s.  And that is precisely why we should share it and exactly why Satan will utilize all his power to try and keep us quiet.   

The reality of the matter, however, is that just because we each possess a different story does not mean that one testimony is somehow “better” than the next.  In fact, the uniqueness of our testimonies is beautiful because God specifically customizes His work in each one of us.  The end goal—our salvation and sanctification and His glorification—is the same for all, but the means by which we are drawn to Him and the processes by which He works in our lives are hand-tailored to each one of us.  We are not cookie-cutouts.  Different does not mean better, and we must guard ourselves against falling prey to such lies.  We need all sorts of testimonies, for they remind us that no one is beyond the reach of God’s grace or the need of God’s grace.

So yes, sharing our stories is important.  It encourages our hearts and the hearts of those around us in several ways.  First, sharing our testimony compels us to remember all that God has brought to pass in our life.  Personally, I am so prone to forgetting—forgetting how lost I was in my sin, the painful trials I struggled through, and God’s faithfulness in the midst of all.  I forget who I am and Whose I am.  When I share my story, however, I am quickly reminded I am more underserving and sinful than I ever dared think, but as God’s precious daughter I am more loved and accepted than I ever dared hope.   Sharing our story is thus the means by which we are reminded of who we are, but more importantly, Whose we are and who God is.  Secondly, sharing our story lifts our hearts and emboldens us as we are reminded of the power of the One we serve.  When we share our stories, we are reminded that the Holy Spirit works in profound ways and is able to accomplish beyond all we could ever ask or imagine.  So we can take heart, knowing that God is for us and fights on our behalf.  Thirdly, I think God is pleased and glorified when we share our stories with others.  If we share our stories in a truly honest and humble manner, the focus in the end should not be on us.  While it may appear as though we own our story, the reality of the matter is that Christ’s work in our lives should reflect God’s glory and place the spotlight on Him.   We see that God reaches all sorts of people, softening the hardest of hearts and drawing even religious churchgoers into personal relationship with Himself. It is God who fiercely yet tenderly woos us in.  We cannot take credit for this.    

  

Along with this, the question may arise as to whether or not we should care what others think of us as we share our stories. Yes and no.  Yes, we should care in the sense that we bear the name of Christ and are thus responsible for how we represent Him. The Gospel is offensive enough to many unbelievers—we ourselves should not be offensive.  There is also a sense, however, in which we should not care what others think.  When we share our stories, the emphasis should not be on our excellency, wisdom, or honor.  If people approve of us, it should be because they see and love and rejoice in Christ’s work in our lives.  In other words, they approve of us not because of what we have done, but because of what Christ has done in us and through us on our behalf.  There may be some, however, who upon hearing our stories reject us.  While no one whishes to be resisted or condemned, our identity does not rest on the opinions of others.  We should not attempt to change who we are or alter the theme of our stories simply to avoid rejection or win the approval of others.  I love what John Piper stated in a sermon on Christian identity and Christian destiny:

“[…] as a Christian you cannot talk about your identity without talking about the action of God on you, the relationship of God with you, and the purpose of God for you. The biblical understanding of human self-identity is radically God-centered…[God] has given us our identity in order that his identity might be proclaimed through us. God made us who we are so we could make known who he is. Our identity is for the sake of making known his identity. The meaning of our identity is that the excellency of God be seen in us.”

As the other day was Christmas, my stepdad sat and read John 1:1-18 to the family.  Prior to yesterday, I had typically overlooked John’s role in this passage and instead focused on Christ, who is referred to as both the life and light of men.  The other night, however, several things struck me regarding John.  We read:

“There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.  He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.”

First, what struck me is that John was a witness.  In other words, John’s role was to give testimony to others of who Christ was.   Secondly, when I had previously read “that all might believe through him”, I had always assumed that “him” referred to the “light”, or Christ.  I didn’t realize, however, that “him” refers to John—Christ’s witness.  What I find fascinating is that while it is belief in Christ that saves, most people come to see and believe in Christ through the testimony of others.  John was a witness proclaiming Christ such that others were drawn to faith through his testimony. We also read that “[Christ] was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.”  It seems then that witnesses are important exactly because the world is hostile to Christ and the Gospel.  We ourselves are not the light, but we are responsible for reflecting and radiating that Light to a dark world.  Because of this, we cannot neglect our role since we are one of God’s means for drawing His children to Himself. 

So what does all of this mean?  Alone, you and I may be only one voice, but together we can live and proclaim God’s work in our lives in such a way that brings glory to Him.  As we are filled with God’s Spirit, our hearts should overflow with thankfulness for His merciful and gracious work in our lives and an eagerness to share what He has done.  Our words and actions and attitudes should proclaim and display the goodness of God—in the way we speak and live, we should portray Christ in such a manner that others are drawn to Him.  So out of our love for God and others, let us rejoice and boldly share who we are, Whose we are, who God is, and the glorious ways He is at work in our lives. 

Self-Discovery

A.W. Tozer’s Rules for Self-Discovery:

1. What we want most

2. What we think about most

3. How we use our money

4. What we do with our leisure time

5. The company we enjoy

6. Who and what we admire

7. What we laugh at

As I search my heart for the answers to these questions, I am not pleased by all that I find.  Talk about convicting. These are seemingly simple and trivial questions, and yet the answers they produce offer much greater insight into the deeper and darker state of my heart and soul.  As I examine my heart and seek to apply these questions to my own life, know that my sins and struggles listed here are by no means exhaustive.  In fact, all I have written here is only the tip of the iceberg.    

1. What do I want most?  I am a people-pleaser and a perfectionist, and one of my greatest sin struggles is craving and idolizing the acceptance and approval of those around me.  I’m a goal-setter and a go-getter, and I foolishly pride myself in my self-sufficiency.  I seek the praise and meager comforts offered by man above abiding in the pleasure of my Heavenly Father.  As a Christian, I know that Christ is my beginning, middle and end, and as I look forward my prayer is that Jesus will by my Omega-point.  By this, I mean that I want His glory and my deep pleasure in Him to be my ultimate goal.  We all have an omega point, some of us may even have several omega points.  The question is, who or what is mine?  Is Christ the ultimate end, or simply the means to my own happy ending?  Am I living for an omega-point, or the one and only Omega-point?   

2. What do I think about most?  I’m a planner, and when the bubble upon which I build my illusion of control is suddenly popped, I become anxious.  Freak-out sessions and an ensuing sense of panic have been known to occur.  So what do I think about most?  Am I bringing glory to God in my heavily detailed and future-oriented thought life, or am I still stuck trying to figure out life in my own strength? I realize how desperately I need to relinquish this battle for control by surrendering my mind to Christ and taking every thought captive to Him!  Oh God, break my of my illusion of control and remind me that You are the only reason for my hope! 

3. How do I use my money?  Am I using my money to magnify God and further His kingdom, or does it find its greatest use in servicing my own self-centered wants and whims? Where is my treasure, and where is my heart? Luke 12:3 makes it clear that wherever my treasure is, there will my heart be also.  Do I treasure Christ or ultimately my possessions? Am I living for this world or the next?  Do I bring my offering forth begrudgingly or as an act of worship?  The answer makes all the difference.             

4. What do I do with my leisure time?  First off, do I even allow myself leisure time without giving into feelings of guilt and inadequacy?  As I stated earlier, I’m a people-pleaser and therefore a perfectionist and a performer.  Therefore, when I’m not performing, I sometimes allow myself to be taken captive by the lie that I am somehow failing and unworthy.  Leisure, as God designed it, is a beautiful thing.  It is an invitation to deeper fellowship and communion with Him and other believers, a time when we are invited fully into His presence without the worry and stress of always doing and performing. And yet, do I trust God enough to seek His presence fully in this manner? In college, I have made it my goal to make Sundays a complete day of rest.  This has been surprisingly difficult and indeed a bigger challenge than I originally anticipated.  What I’ve realized is this: if Sunday is indeed to be a day of rest, than it requires extra time and effort and diligence during the rest of the week. Regardless of my performance, however, I am commanded to rest.  God is glorified when I allow myself to seek the pleasure of His presence by surrendering up my hectic schedule and “to do” list to Him.  I am realizing quickly that to not seek His presence and the fellowship of other believers is actually a result of pride, pride which stems from my need to feel adequate and self-sufficient.  The glorious reality, however, is that I am not self-sufficient, and this is not a curse but rather a blessing, a blessing meant to drive me into deeper communion and community as I realize my deep need for Christ and others.  My prayer is that I will come to find peace in the silence.  May I never fear the stillness, but rather rejoice in the quite resting place my Lord tenderly invites me into!

5. Whose company to I enjoy?  I want to take this in a slightly different direction and ask myself instead, whose company do I intentionally seek out? I confess I don’t enjoy being called out and being held accountable isn’t exactly fun, so those relationships are ones I tend to avoid.  It all boils down to a fear of man which is ultimately rooted in pride (wow, sensing a theme yet?).  And yet, this is exactly the sort of company I need.  I need fellowship with those who will help draw me into deeper community with fellow believers and more intimate communion with Christ.  I confess I also tend to exchange the intimacy I am granted in Christ for the promise of more “tangible” human relationships. I know that Christ is the answer to all my deepest yearnings, but if He were all I truly had, would I still find my joy and satisfaction in Him?  Do I delight in His presence, or is His presence simply a mandated chore?  My prayer is that community with others and communion with Christ will not just be a duty, but a true delight to my soul.

6. Who and what do I admire?  Do I admire and adore Christ, or am I filled with adoration towards those idols I have erected in my own heart?  In my spiritual pride, I confess I am most guilty of self-adoration! What a lie I have believed.  In my sin I allow myself to become disillusioned to my own desperate and needy state.  My prayer is that God will break me of my spiritual pride and bring me humbly to my knees before Him.  Though I am bought and set free by the blood of Christ, may I never forget my sin-soiled state!

7. What do I laugh at? I found this last question quite puzzling at first, and yet I believe there is a lot of truth in the fact that you can often tell an individual's character by the things he or she laughs at and finds humorous.  As I look at my own heart, I must ask myself this: Do I find pleasure in God’s good glory and the amazing works of His hand, or do I seek to elevate myself by mocking and gossiping about others?  I know I’m not believing the Gospel when I put others down in order to make me feel better about myself!

I am so glad I came upon Tozer’s list.  It was much needed.  As Christians, I believe we have a responsibility to examine our hearts and lives and ask the tough questions.  Personally, I confess that diving deep into these issues can be intimidating out of fear of what I may find hidden away within the dark recesses of my heart.  But I do know this, whatever I find, I serve and worship the great God Almightly who is wholeheartedly committed to my sanctification, and nothing I find is too great for Him to overcome! 

Sweetly Broken

“O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.” ― A.W. Tozer

Well, it finally happened.  Stubborn and strong-willed Sara Seeland has come to the end of herself.  I’m hopeless and helpless to save myself. It’s been a difficult day.  A difficult week.  In fact, I admit it’s been an incredibly difficult summer.  In spite of all the things God has taught me, I’m exhausted of still trying to “do life” in my own strength.  I am drowning in my self-sufficiency.  The reality of the situation is that in my recent flounderings to remain strong and independent, I have actually become increasingly needy.  Needy for Something and Someone. 

While I believe firmly that God uses these barren times of frustration and loneliness to invite us into deeper communion with Him, I have not accepted that invitation.  Rather, I have forsaken this incredibly opportunity to immerse myself in the gospel and have instead pursued fulfillment in those things which cannot ultimately satisfy. Take relationships, for example.  As beings designed after God’s own image, we are created for community with other beings.  This community, however, should not come at the expense of deep and intimate communion with God.  This summer, however, I have sacrificed that communion for community—I have turned towards others to fill that which only God can supply, and when they fail to satisfy this deep need I have within, I isolate myself in frustration and despair.

I am deeply convicted by his sermon, “The First Dark Exchange: Idolatry”, in which John Piper preaches on Romans 1:21-23.  This passage reads, “For even though they knew God, they did not honor Him as God or give thanks, but they became futile in their speculations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing to be wise, they became fools, and exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man and of birds and four-footed animals and crawling creatures.”  I am ashamed to admit I have absolutely suppressed the Holy Spirit’s promptings within me.  Instead, I have pursed the “pitiful substitutes” that Piper describes in his sermon, and as he himself states, “That is the fundamental problem with the human race. We do not acknowledge, value, treasure, savor, honor, or make much of the greatest value in the universe, the glory of God. That is our wickedness and our disease and our great mutiny against God.”  Piper argues, “The created universe is all about glory.  The deepest longing of the human heart and the deepest meaning of heaven and earth are summed up in this: the glory of God…The universe was made to show it, and we were made to see it and savor it.  Which is why the world is so disordered and as dysfunctional as it is.  We have exchanged the glory of God for other things.” I am indeed guilty of this “dark exchange”, in the midst of which my speculations have become futile, my heart has darkened, and my own perceived wisdom has masked the true foolishness of my exchange.

Christ is indeed the answer to the psalmist’s question, “Whom have I in heaven but you?” (Psalm 73:25), and yet I have failed—refused, in fact—to embrace this reality.  I am so thankful, however, that God has not left me to myself.  Despite forsaking Him and running headlong into self-destruction, Christ has chased after me and assumed the cost of my deliberate sins upon Himself.  His radical sacrifice is beyond my understanding, and yet I do know this:  I have reached the end of myself, and now it is He I must finally turn towards to save me from my Hell-bound race.  But I feel cold and distant, and I am ashamed of my meager, half-hearted attempts to return once again to His side.   And so my prayer, like Tozer, is this: “O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, ‘Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away.’ Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long.”  May I once again experience the sweet communion that comes only from fellowship with God, and may He humble me through this such that I am evermore reminded that He alone is the one true treasure that my heart and soul yearn for.  

Like HERE to Piper's sermon, "The First Dark Exchange: Idolatry"

Humble Pie

I am so incredibly thankful for Romans 8:28.    This process of sanctification is long and often trying, but I am so grateful that the God I serve is One who breaks into my brokenness and pieces me back together with the transforming power of His grace and mercy.   

What was my most recent “break-through”?  It was my last post, titled “Lists: Your Plans or God’s?”.  Actually, the “break-through” did not occur until several days after my posting.  It was then that God quickly brought to my attention the rotten state of my proud heart.  Through His Spirit and the words of other believing friends, He removed the scales from my eyes and allowed me to see that while the things I wrote in my last post may have indeed been true, they were not written in a spirit of grace and humility.  Rather, my last post was an arrogant response to the seemingly proud and conceited “list mentality”.   I am so convicted by Luke 6:45 which reads, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.”  And what was the attitude of my heart?  Pride, and it manifested itself in my self-righteous post.  Talk about the pot calling the kettle black! I do not have everything figured out, and I am increasingly realizing how incredibly prone I am to the sin of thinking I do!

I love how John Piper portrays this battle between the Spirit and the flesh in one of his sermons. He states:

Picture your flesh—that old ego with the mentality of merit and craving for power and reputation and self-reliance—picture it as a dragon living in some cave of your soul. Then you hear the gospel, and in it Jesus Christ comes to you and says, "I will make you mine and take possession of the cave and slay the dragon. Will you yield to my possession? It will mean a whole new way of thinking and feeling and acting." You say: "But that dragon is me. I will die." He says, "And you will rise to newness of life, for I will take its plan; I will make my mind and my will and my heart your own." You say, "What must I do?" He answers, "Trust me and do as I say. As long as you trust me, we cannot lose." Overcome by the beauty and power of Christ you bow and swear eternal loyalty and trust.

And as you rise, he puts a great sword in your hand and says, "Follow me." He leads you to the mouth of the cave and says, "Go in, slay the dragon." But you look at him bewildered, "I cannot. Not without you." He smiles. "Well said. You learn quickly. Never forget: my commands for you to do something are never commands to do it alone." Then you enter the cave together. A horrible battle follows and you feel Christ's hand on yours. At last the dragon lies limp. You ask, "Is it dead?" His answer is this: "I have come to give you new life. This you received when you yielded to my possession and swore faith and loyalty to me. And now with my sword and my hand you have felled the dragon of the flesh. It is a mortal wound. It will die. That is certain. But it has not yet bled to death, and it may yet revive with violent convulsions and do much harm. So you must treat it as dead and seal the cave as a tomb. The Lord of darkness may cause earthquakes in your soul to shake the stones loose, but you build them up again. And have this confidence: with my sword and my hand on yours this dragon's doom is sure, he is finished, and your new life is secure."

I think that is the meaning of Galatians 5:24, "Those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires." Christ has taken possession of our soul. Our old self has been dealt a mortal wound and stripped of its power to have dominion. The Christian life, the fruit of the Spirit, is a constant reckoning of the flesh as dead (piling stones on its tomb) and a constant relying on the present Spirit of Christ to produce love, joy, and peace within. The difference between the Christian life and popular American morality is that Christians will not take one step unless the hand of Christ holds the hand that wields the sword of righteousness.

I am so thankful that I am not alone, for I know how helpless I am to save myself.  If I want to destroy this dragon within me, I need Someone great.  Only He who is within me possesses the power to bring about my sanctification, and I am so thankful that my God is committed to helping me destroy this dragon that rears its ugly head of pride and self-righteousness.  

I am not naïve enough to think that the battle it over.  In fact, I am so aware of my sinful and needy state that I have no doubt I will continue to sin in this area.  By God’s grace, however, I don’t want to give Satan a foothold.  My prayer is that I will awake every morning and prostrate myself before the foot of the cross, for it is there that I am safest.  May God continually keep me on my knees before Him, and may I never forget my own desperate and needy state!  And when I do fall and fail, may He grant me to humility and confidence to boldly confess my sins. 

In my pride I was blind to my own self-righteousness and utterly convinced that my last post was justified.  Indeed, the words may have been, but the heart and spirit behind my words were not.  The following prayer from the Valley of Vision fits my situation perfectly. 

"Self-Knowledge"

“Searcher of Hearts,

It is a good day to me when thou givest me a glimpse of myself;

Sin is my greatest evil, but thou art my greatest good;

I have cause to loathe myself, and not to seek self-honour,

for no one desires to commend his own dunghill.

My country, family, church fare worse because of my sins,

For sinners bring judgment in thinking sins are small, or

That God is not angry with them.

Let me not take other good men as my example,

and think I am good because I am like them,

For all good men are not so good as thou desirest,

Are not always consistent,

Do not always follow holiness,

Do not feel eternal good in sore affliction.

Show me how to know when a thing is evil

Which I think is right and good,

How to know when what is lawful

Comes from an evil principle,

Such as desire for reputation or wealth by usury.

Give me grace to recall my needs,

My lack of knowing thy will in Scripture,

Of wisdom to guide others,

Of daily repentance, want to which keeps thee at bay,

Of the spirit of prayer, having words without love,

Of zeal for thy glory, seeking my own ends,

Of joy in thee and thy will, of love to others.

And let me not lay my pipe too short of the fountain,

Never touching the eternal spring, never drawing down water from above.

-The Valley of Vision, p. 122f

This is such a powerful reminder that I am not above reproach.  Even more so, however, I rejoice that God uses even my most miserable failings to bring about my sanctification and ultimately His glory.  What a promise we have in Romans 8:28!   

The Call to Christian Accountability

As Christians, we are not meant to live out our faith alone.  Rather, God has created us for fellowship with others in the Christian community.  We may see this in Hebrews 12: 24-25, where we read: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” A major aspect of Christian community is accountability.  Most people, however, cringe at the thought of accountability.  Why?  There are numerous reasons for this, but to begin we must first understand what accountability is. 

As Christians, we need to realize that we are responsible and answerable for the manner in which we live our lives.  Ultimately, we are answerable to God, yet we are also answerable to fellow brothers and sisters whom God has placed in our lives.  Accountability, then, is the means by which we are answerable to one another, whereby we receive both encouragement and reproof, when needed.  Unfortunately, many relationships in life are superficial, and so accountability provides a way for us to share the deep inner workings of our lives in a mutual atmosphere of trust.  God has created us for Himself, and through accountability we are able to open up and be challenged in the varying aspects of our lives, all of which lead to character growth and maturity.  Accountability is undoubtedly one of the many tools God uses to sanctify His children. 

Because accountability calls us to be open and vulnerable, however, it comes as no surprise that many are adverse to it. In fact, before I had experienced the grace of an accountability relationship, I hid from it in fear, seeing is as an assault upon my lifestyle and plans.  Like many others, I did not want to hear my failures or become tied up in bringing them to the forefront of my attention.  I convinced myself that I could do well enough without the time-commitment and hassle of accountability.  Now having been in a relationship of accountability, however, I know that accountability is far more than confrontation (though at times we may need to be confronted or confront others).  Rather, accountability is more about challenging one another to grow in Christ’s likeness.  This accountability is essential for Christians to grow and produce Godly character and fruit.  In fact, I think it is safe to say that real growth cannot occur without it.  We must allow our human pride to yield to the need for accountability—we are not self-sufficient, and it is time we stop believing the world’s lie that we are. 

Another misunderstanding surrounding accountability is that it is reserved for those who are “weak” or “needy”, designed primarily to help along those who are struggling.   While this is true in that we are all weak and needy in sin, accountability is far more than this, for it is just as much for those who are strong and want to become stronger!  Sadly, the common belief is that accountability is not something that “real” women do, and especially not “real” men.  This is a lie from the pit, one meant to keep us in our present, self-dependent state!  No, “real” men (and women) pursue Christian accountability with other godly men and women.  And so, though accountability may not be what we would desire on our own, Christians nevertheless need to actively pursue it, humbling ourselves to the point of recognizing our weaknesses and our need to be held responsible.

And so, despite the dangerous misunderstanding that accountability is a system based on domination, manipulation, and the invasion of privacy, accountability is something far more beautiful.  Like sheep that are prone to wander, we too go astray, and so God provides us with Christians brothers and sisters to teach, exhort, support, and encourage us in our faith and hold us accountable to Him.  Accountability is where we develop relationships with fellow Christians to help drive us to a place where we are real, honest, and obedient to God.  Such relationships challenge us in our walk, and by allowing others to speak into our lives we allow the Holy Spirit and the truth of God’s Word to penetrate out lives through both inward spiritual conviction and faith.