Lecrae: Hope When Life is Hard

When asked about the biblical promise he turns to most, Lecrae responds with:

"The biblical promise that I turn to most is that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called by him (Romans 8:28). I have to lean on the reality that even if it doesn’t look good to me, or feel good to me, God is ultimately being glorified. And in the end, even if it’s not until I am in heaven, it will work out to my benefit. Even if I don’t realize it until heaven, it will work out for my benefit.

I lean on that because life is difficult. Life is hard. It’s complicated. It’s not peachy keen, as a lot of people would like to make it seem. It takes a lot of leaning on the hope that is in Jesus. Without that hope we are just left to go insane, to be at our wit’s end. So this is the promise I hold to."

My "Innocent" Sin of Busyness and Striving

One of my biggest struggles is the need to always be doing something—something productive, something meaningful, something worthwhile.  In this sense, checklists are my best friend.  I feel a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment when I can check something off one of my lists.  In fact, the longer the list and the more I’ve accomplished, the better. 

On the other hand, however, checklists are the thing I dread most.  An unchecked list screams of my failures and inadequacies.  And somehow, no matter how much I check off, the list never seems to get any shorter.  In fact, it’s just the opposite!  The more I check off, the longer it gets and the more frantic and frazzled I become. 

And yet, as much as I hate these lists, I can’t seem to give them up.  And this is what I’ve realized—the fact that I can’t give up my lists is a major indication that I don’t own them.  They own me!  As much as I hate this desperate need to always be on the move, I don’t know how to live any other way.  I can’t cope if I’m not doing something, not improving.  I have become enslaved to this go-go-go mentality and lifestyle, and as I strive to earn my keep, I feel a sense of worthlessness each time I find myself beginning to slow down. 

Unsurprisingly, rest is almost nonexistent in my life.  I feel so guilty when I take a break or a breather that I can’t even rest when I’m resting.  Take working out, for example.  Rarely can I just lace up my shoes and go for a nice jog outside.  That would be too selfish of me.  I don’t deserve a break.  I can’t justify working out simply for the pure enjoyment of exercise.  So what do I do instead?  I bike or I elliptical.  But I don’t just bike or elliptical. I’ve found a way to be productive even in my working out.  I’ve become the master at going through flashcards on the bike.  Textbook reading on the elliptical?  Check.  And so, you see, I’ve managed to kill two birds with one stone—by studying while I work out, I can get the benefit of a workout without the guilt of being unproductive.

While some might praise these efforts as an indication of hard work, dedication, and discipline, could it be that my strivings and inability to truly rest reflect the deeper state of my heart?  Is it possible I have fallen prey to the seemingly “innocent” sin of busyness and striving? I believe so. 

I am so guilty of resting in the gospel of self-improvement.  John Bloom put it perfectly in his blog post, “Sexy, Successful, and Smart”:  

“The world has a gospel and preaches it all the time: be sexy, successful, or smart and you will be saved. What you will be saved to are the heavens of others’ esteem, desire and envy — and the various perks that usually come with it. What you will be saved from are the hells of others’ rejection and indifference — and the various undesirable extras that usually go with them.

The more you have of sexiness, success, or smarts — and, even better, of all three — the more assurance of salvation you have. According to this gospel you are justified by others’ approval. You are sanctified by self-improvement.

But it’s no gospel. It makes big promises that prove empty. If we achieve the approval we seek, we soon realize it’s no salvation. Approval today usually turns to rejection or indifference tomorrow. Even sustained worldly success doesn’t produce sustained satisfaction. This gospel leaves almost everyone feeling condemned.”

And so, it seems, I am in reality running headlong into self-destruction at breakneck speed by striving and failing under the world’s empty gospel of self-improvement. 

My pastor from back home, R.W. Glenn, recently spoke at the Desiring God National Conference.  In his sermon on work and rest, my pastor spoke on the constant pressure we feel to always be “doing.”  As he explained, “the cry of busyness is more or less the anthem of our culture.”  And what are the implications of this?  We live in a “meritocracy”, whereby our identity is bound up in our achievements and we are addicted to merit. The problem with this, however, is that the Christian faith is not a system of achievement—it’s not a “do” faith, it’s a “done” faith.   Christ has done what we could never hope to do on our own!  Needless to say, my pastor’s sermon had my name stamped all over it.  After listening to my pastor’s sermon, I realize that my confessional theology and my functional theology are often at odds with one another. I see very much of myself in the following quote by Bryan Chappell which my pastor referenced:“After initially trusting in Christ to make them right with God, many Christians embark on an endless pursuit of trying to satisfy God with good works that will keep Him loving them.  This belief, whether articulated or buried deep in a psyche developed by the way we were treated by parents, spouses, or others, makes the Christian life a perpetual race on a performance treadmill to keep winning God’s affection.”

In my functional theology, how I actually live every day in my actions, I see now that I am guilty of acting, thinking and behaving as though Christianity is about what I do for God.  I guess I’ve never really considered the possibility that the reason behind my frantic schedule is that I may be frantic in my relationship with God and not resting in the finished work of Christ for me.  I have been driven by a perpetual quest for something.  Maybe some of you have as well. But is there somewhere we can find rest?  I don’t mean the superficial, unsatisfying rest we are all too familiar with.  I mean deep, true rest. Indeed, in Christ and the Gospel we are afforded this kind of rest, rest which frees us from our strivings—Christ has broken the chains of our enslavement! For me, I am slowly realizing that I can’t be more accepted by God than I already am at this moment, and instead of working to earn the acceptance of God and those around me through my achievements, I need to work on resting. I know this won’t be easy.  I’ve already established habits and thinking that are engrained into me and which won’t be easily uprooted.  My prayer, however, is that instead of focusing on myself and the worldly gospel of self-improvement, I will day by day come to remember more of the Gospel of Christ and all that He done for me.  I don’t need to strive towards becoming accepted by the culture because I am already accepted by the Creator.  As my pastor put it, “The only list of accomplishments the Father sees for you is the one amassed by Jesus, who said, ‘It is finished!’ ”  And I praise God for this, for I know that on my own I can add nothing to the finished work of Christ!

“Let us therefore strive to enter that rest…”

(Hebrews 4:11)

Shadows that Haunt

The shadows of fear, anxiety and self-indulgence all too often become ghosts and phantoms that haunt us.  The slightest gust of wind fills us with terror and a creaky floor causes us to freeze.  Friends become backstabbers, our parents our adversaries, and God—an enemy.  With darting eyes and racing hearts we find ourselves hurrying along, occasionally daring to rapidly glance back over our shoulder. 

Why this running and hiding lifestyle as though we are escaped convicts? Is it possible that all the worries of this world, combined with a sin-soiled conscience, have made us restless and prone to fear and avoidance?  I think so.  Maybe we have a sense that someone or something is out to get us, that we are being pursued. It is this terror that quickly consumes us, causing us to turn and flee in fear and mistrust even when we are not being pursued.

“The wicked flee when no one pursues…”

Proverbs 8:21a

Our guilty conscience condemns us, and in our wickedness and despair we are fearful.  But is there hope?  Is there somewhere we may find rest and boldness, somewhere we may shed our fears? 

Indeed, there is one great shadow we need not fear and from which we need not flee.   It is beneath this shadow—the shadow of the cross—that we are freed from the nightmares of our sins.  Here alone are we blessed and here alone do we find rest.  And it is here, in the shadow of the cross, that we are confronted with the Gospel and all that Christ has done on our behalf.  

“But he was pierced for our transgressions;

he was crushed for our iniquities;

upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace,

and with his wounds we are healed.

All we like sheep have gone astray;

we have turned—every one—to his own way;

and the Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

Isaiah 53:5-6

As believers, we have a mighty and merciful message in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  This is a great hope and security in the face of a guilty conscience that threatens to destroy us.   No longer does every breeze that blows or every floor that creaks condemn us.  We need not agonize over the voices that once joined in unison to testify to our guilt, for in Christ all is washed away and we are freed from fear and healed of our sins!   

“..let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith,

with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience

and our bodies washed with pure water.”

Hebrews 10:22

“…for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart,
 and he knows everything.  Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, 

we have confidence before God…”

1 John 30:20-21

“Blessed are those whose lawless deeds are forgiven,

and whose sins are covered;

blessed is the man against whom the Lord will not count his sin.”

Romans 4:7-8

“There is therefore now no condemnation

for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

Romans 8:1

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

John 8:36

What great and glorious truths! We are freed and protected and glorified when we hide ourselves within the shadow of Christ and the cross.      

“And I will be to her a wall of fire all around, declares the Lord,

and I will be the glory in her midst.”

Zechariah 2:5

So let us hide ourselves within the fiery walls of protection afforded us by Christ's sacrifice, and when Satan tempts us to despair and our guilty hearts cry out of the guilt we hold within, may we boldly look to the cross and hold fast to the promise and reassurance and hope we have in Christ: 

When Satan tempts me to despair,

And tells me of the guilt within,

Upward I look, and see Him there

Who made an end to all my sin.

Because the sinless Savior died,

My sinful soul is counted free;

For God the just is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me
(Before the Throne of God Above)

So what does mean?  It means we can stop running and hiding.  In Christ we are promised protection from the fires and shadows that haunt us.  His guiltless blood shed for us has covered all our sins and they are remembered no more.  No more! They have been removed as far as the East is from the West.    We may now come to the Father not as vile convicts but as sons and daughters of the King.  Unlike the shadows of our past, the shadow of the cross will never threaten or haunt us.  Rather, it is in the shadow of what Christ has done on the cross that we are granted the greatest blessing of all—we are invited to come and forevermore be filled with the infinite joy of God’s glory and presence.    

“For I will satisfy the weary soul,

 and every languishing soul I will replenish.”

 Jeremiah 31:25

What Do People Live to Do, the Way a Horse Lives to Run?

  “…I felt as though a hurricane had swept through me, leaving me hollow and exhausted. I swallowed a mouthful of orange juice and closed my eyes.

‘And what is it,’ I said softly, more to myself than to John, ‘What is it that people do? What do we live to do, the way a horse lives to run?’ I didn't expect an answer, and John didn't give me one…”

This text is an excerpt from one of my psychology textbooks.  In this particular case study, husband John and pregnant wife Martha have just undergone tests to see if their unborn baby has Down Syndrome. Although they do not yet know the outcome of the test, they nevertheless find themselves in the midst of a heated debate as to how to handle the possible outcome.  As I was doing my reading for class, what struck me was not Martha’s question, for I know that many have asked themselves, “What is it that makes our brief little lives worth living?” Rather, what perked my attention and broke my heart was the cold silence that followed this particular woman’s earnest yet timid plea for some sort of meaningful answer, for as she herself admitted, “I didn’t expect an answer, and John didn’t give me one…”   

In a world filled with suffering and chaos, we naturally possess deep and fundamental cravings for purpose and significance.  So where do we go and to whom may we turn to find and learn of our cause worth living for?  The answer is God and His Word.  The Bible offers compelling and profound answers to these questions that threaten to destroy the heart and soul if left unanswered.  Praise God, therefore, that we need not remain in a state of hopelessness and helplessness, for through His Word we have been granted both hope and help.

I know full well that brilliant men have devoted their lives to detailing and proclaiming God’s revealed purposes for mankind.  Now I do not currently have a lifetime—I have a limited amount of time before I must go and finish my Statistics homework.  Sounds thrilling, I know.  But in my limited time I want to simply proclaim what God has revealed to me through His Word regarding this great question:  What do people live to do, the way a horse lives to run?

To begin, we were created for God’s glory, and that is how we are designed to live—to daily bring Him glory!  In my textbook John told his wife, "A lame horse dies slowly, you know? It dies in terrible pain. And it can't run anymore, so it can't enjoy life even if it doesn't die. Horses live to run; that's what they do.”  The assumption here is that if a horse cannot live in a manner that fulfills its design, namely running, then that horse cannot experience true delight and pleasure as it was intended to.  In fact, the argument John makes is that a horse which cannot satisfy its innate need to run is not truly alive. More specifically, the assumption goes that horses, or any other creature for that matter, can only find deep and lasting joy from being and doing what they were created to be and do.  For horses, that is running.  For birds, soaring through the skies above.  For whales, it is plunging to the depths of the great and beautiful oceans.  For flowers, it is blooming forth in all their glorious splendor.  

But what about man? Surely among all the creatures and creation man would not be left without a purpose.  And herein lies the wonderful truth:  Man was created in God’s image with the glorious purpose of being a mirror to reflect His glory—our purpose is to fill the earth with the light of Christ’s beauty by reflecting Him to others. 

God has intimately created each one of us, beginning with knitting us together in our mothers’ womb.  Our lives are not accidents!  There is nothing meaningless about our existence, and to attribute our lives to random evolutionary mutations strips us of our Divine design and destroys that which God has made us to be.  We do not have to be like Martha and John who find themselves floundering in hollowness and exhaustion as they wrestle with the despairing prospect of a purposeless and therefore meaningless life.  We have been given the answer to our existence, and have therefore been granted a great and glorious hope!  Through the Gospel of Christ, we can come to more fully understand that our inborn longing to be satisfied is met in God’s purpose to be glorified.  And furthermore, God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him!  Beginning with myself, my hopeful and earnest prayer is that our Lord Jesus may be glorified in us as we reflect His glorious Gospel to a broken and hurting world.  We have tasted the riches of His glory, and just as the heavens display the glory of God and the skies proclaim the works of His hands, may we live in such a manner that invites others to come and eat and drink and live in Him!