McDonald's Fries and Idolatry

When I see movies or commercials, read books, listen to the radio, etc., I like to ask the following:  What is this telling me about God and myself?  I have my mom to thank for this.  For as long as I can remember, she would always ask me and my sibling what a particular movie or book was communicating to us about God and man.  At the time it drove me crazy!  I wanted to watch my movies and enjoy my books without having to examine the underlying message.  Now, however, I am grateful that my mom established this habit, for the older I get, the more I realize that no words are neutral.  Words have meaning and therefore possess the power to influence by conveying attitudes, opinions, convictions and worldview.  Simply put, everything has a message.     

That being said, I’m not a huge fan of comedian Jim Gaffigan.  He can be crude and I don’t believe he’s as witty as say, Tim Hawkins or Brian Regan.  I was recently shocked, however, by a portion of Gaffigan’s act, whereby his rave on McDonalds turned into quite the lesson on our human condition.  Indeed, this particular act was deeply theological in nature.  According to Jim Gaffigan, many of us live in “McDonald's denial”—we realize McDonald's is terrible for us, and yet we keep going back for more.  As I listened to Gaffigan mock the individuals, including himself, who return again and again to the golden arches, I was struck by the profundity of his comments, for at the core of Gaffigan’s act was this message: We all worship something.  Gaffigan spoke about McDonald’s fries in a manner that eerily resembled idolatry.  In fact, Jim Gaffigan offered amazing insight into the nature of idolatry, and all without ever once mentioning the words “sin” or “idol”:  

“I think everyone’s lying.”  Me too.  If we know that 6 billion burgers are sold and only a fraction of people are admitting to purchasing these burgers, then most people clearly aren’t telling the truth.   Either they’re reducing the number of burgers they claim to have purchased or they are denying purchasing them altogether.  So if McDonald's is comparable to sin, as I am suggesting in this example, how many of us are lying about our sins or idols?  Maybe you and I refuse to acknowledge and confess our sins in full detail, ashamed that we think or act or speak as we do. Perhaps we have tried to cut back on McDonald's and perhaps we have tried to withstand our sins.  Perhaps these attempts have been futile, and realizing our inability to say no, we feel shame.  Maybe we can’t give up our idols and thus realize that we don’t own them.  Rather, they own us, and we are enslaved to them! This bondage is a source of shame, and perhaps that is why we lie.  Perhaps we don’t want to admit we’re really that weak. 

 “Have you ever eaten too many McDonald's fries? Of course not!  There’s never enough of them!”  Isn’t it the exact same way with our sin?  Sin promises to satisfy our needs and cravings, yet it never does!  In fact, we are so hooked on our sin that we go in search of meager “fry crumbs,” scanty pleasures to fill our gnawing hunger and deep longings.

But what happens when we finally obtain our craved and sought-after fries?  Jim Gaffigan tells us: “Those fries are amaaaaazing.  For what? Like seven minutes?  And then they turn into something that’s most likely not biodegradable.”  Once again, doesn’t sin play out in a strikingly similar fashion?  We find only momentary satisfaction in our sin.  Seven minutes in this case!  What is more, we do not return to our pre-McDonald's state.  Rather, we find ourselves worse off than we were originally: Whereas we once simply craved these things—either fries or idols—now we carry the non-biodegradable effects with us.  We walk away from these encounters with something that cannot be broken down and has the potential to destroy life if allowed to accumulate. Isn’t this what our idols do?  

How about leftovers?  Jim Gaffigan asks his audience how many of them have tried to reheat their fries. These reheated fries “aren’t even good anymore,”

and yet according to Gaffigan, it “doesn’t stop you from eating them!”  Isn’t this the definition of insanity, eating something that has lost all appetitive value?  Don’t you and I do the same thing with sin?  We keep returning to our sins, knowing they won’t satisfy, and yet nevertheless hoping that this time they will.  It’s insanity, repeatedly doing the same thing and expecting different results.  It just ain’t gonna happen.         

“We know those McDonald’s commercials aren’t realistic. I’d just like to see one commercial that shows people five minutes after they ate McDonald's.”  Wouldn’t we all?  But of course those commercials aren’t realistic!  They were created to entice you and I, to draw us in.  Sin does the same: it lies. Sin adorns itself with all the false trappings of peace, joy, pleasure, and fulfillment, but all of these are only a thin masking for the ugly evil lurking beneath. And just like commercials, our idols will not show us the deep consequences and complications resulting from out sin until we have tasted and bought the lie.  So why do we believe these lies? I don’t think it’s solely because we are the victims of malicious schemes.  That is indeed one portion of the issue, for we are under attack (Ephesians 6:12) and Satan does indeed disguise himself as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14).  I believe, however, that much of it stems from the fact that we see what we want to see—we want to believe those fries are really that tasty, or that those burger buns are really that light and fluffy (as opposed to the squished, soggy, lop-sided buns we actually receive in the drive-thru).  We want the lie to be true! Likewise, we want to believe our idols will come through.  Our idols ensnare us by making false promises, yet we keep returning in the hopes that some day, those promises will become reality.  They never do.  Ever.   So I think it’s safe to say that the root of all sin and all idolatries can be traced back to belief in a lie.  Just go back and read what happened with Eve in the garden!  What lie did she believe?  What lies am I believing? 

“They get us in there….some of those deals they offer are just cruel!”  Fast food sure is enticing.  It lures us in, just like sin.  We are offered satisfaction at a bargain we cannot seem to resist.  And what happens next?  We become gluttons and gorge ourselves.   And who can honestly say they feel satisfied and content after such a gorging?  No one.  We feel sick, both physically disgusting and emotionally disgusted.  And so our idols may appear beautiful and desireable, but they are only bitter in memory.  Sin’s pleasure is only for a season, for by nature sin enslaves, entraps, destroys and kills, leaving us with heartache, sorrow and suffering.

And finally, here is what I found the most profound: “I have friends that brag about not going to McDonald's...I’m tired of people acting like they’re better than McDonald's.  It’s like, you may have never set foot in McDonald’s, but you have your own McDonald's.  Maybe instead of buying a Big Mac you read Us Weekly.  Hey, that’s still McDonald's!  It’s just served up a little different.  Maybe your McDonald's is telling yourself that Starbucks Frappuccino is not a milkshake.  Or maybe you watch Glee. It’s all McDonald's, McDonald's of the soul: momentary pleasure followed by incredible guilt eventually leading to cancer...We all have our own. We all have our own McDonald's….” Wow.  Jim Gaffigan hit the nail on the head with this one.   Those words are haunting. What is the McDonald's of my soul?  What is my idol?  What is it that I turn towards for my pleasure,  satisfaction, comfort and identity?  In what or in whom do I find my joy?  Is it Christ alone, or Christ substitutes?  And then there’s cancer.  It’s a silent killer.  Too often it goes undetected, only to be discovered once it is too late.  So I must ask myself this, what seemingly harmless idol am I feeding that will soon rear its ugly head?  What cancerous idol am I allowing to rule my life?     

Human beings—you and I—were created to worship.  The only question is, who or what do we worship?  Do we worship God or God substitutes?  If I am not worshipping God, it does not necessarily mean I am bowing down to the image I carved from the old tree in my yard. An idol can be anything or anyone in whom I place ultimate concern, value, allegiance, etc. My idols, then, are anything apart from Christ in which I place my hope and trust and identity. Idolatry, therefore, can just as much be—if not more so—an affair of the heart.  We are prone to wander, prone to leave the God we love.  But as believers, you and I have been granted an incredible gift of life and hope and freedom in Christ:

Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery.

 (Hebrews 2:14-15)

 Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.  Do not present your members to sin as instruments for unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life, and your members to God as instruments for righteousness.  For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his.  We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin.  Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him.  We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him.  For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God.  So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

(Romans 6:5-14)

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death. For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, he condemned sin in the flesh, in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.

(Romans 8:1-4)

“What you treasure will ultimately require you die for it, but Jesus is the only treasure that died for you.” 

–Tim Keller

Click HERE to watch Tim Keller on: What is idolatry?

Lists: Your Plans or God's?

He must not only know what he believes, he must know why he believes the things that he believes.  He's gotta be good with kids.  Hardworking, honest, humble, and handsome: those are a must.  He's gotta be articulate and athletic.  If he's older and successful, that's a plus.  Oh, and tall too.  I'm almost 5'10", so I gotta be able to wear my heels and not dwarf him! He has to fit in perfectly with my life: if he truly loves me, he won't ask me to change.   He can't be a nut.  No wacky ex-girlfriends. He’s gotta love the Lord.  Oh, and did I mention he has to be handsome?  We’re talkin’ a 9 or a 10 here folks.  And together we’re gonna make smart, tall, beautiful, athletic and talented babies.  Lots of ‘em.     

How's that for a list?  Sound familiar? I mean, when it comes to a spouse, don't we deserve nothing less than the best?  If I believe God has great plans for me, isn't my list at least somewhat justified?  Well at minimum, people always say it's good to know what you want, right?  

Maybe.  Maybe not.  Herein lies my problem with the “list mentality”, and it arises after examining Proverbs 16.  Let’s look at a few verses:

Verse  1: "The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD.”  That seems pretty clear to me: I can plan and daydream all I want, but in the end it is the Lord, the One with true authority, who wills and brings forth HIS plan.  Yes, HIS plan.  Not mine!  He is the Author of all things, the great playwright.  He has the final say on this stage we call life.  Maybe His answer is “Yes”, maybe “No”.  Or possibly, “Not now, dear child.”  But I do know this, whatever His answer, it is right and good because it is in accordance with His good will.  And so I trust that He has a beautiful plan beyond what I can even imagine!

Verse 2: “All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the LORD weighs the spirit.” Each one of us is self- biased.  Just spend some time around any normal human being and that will become quite evident. Oh you came up with that idea?  You’re an idiot.  But if I came up with that idea, well now, that’s another story.  I’m brilliant.  Possibly even the greatest thing since the invention of the toothbrush (or SPAM).  Take you’re pick.   Well, not really, but I think you get my point.  Too often we cannot see past ourselves.  We think our ideas and our lives are great.  We think we’re great.  What’s most scary about this is that often these thoughts and ideas about ourselves are not even conscious!  We are so wrapped up in ourselves and we can’t even see it! So when the Lord weighs my spirit, what will He find?  Will He find me searching high and low for the perfect spouse to fit my perfect little world?  A spouse who can fulfill all of my wants and needs?  Or will He find me humbly surrendering up my love life (or lack of it!) to Him?  Am I seeking a spouse for my own glory or for His?  Am I seeking to pursue my “pure” ways, or His pure ways? The answer makes all the difference.    

Verse 4a: “The LORD has made everything for its purpose.”  Everything?  Yes, everything.  “Whoa!”, you say, “that’s a lot of things!”   Indeed it is!  I find it amazing that all things and all human beings possess a unique, God-give purpose.  And furthermore, God equips us to fulfill our purposes when we are pursuing and seeking after Him!  While I would certainly like to be married some day, I know that as long as I keep running after the Lord, He is going to give me the tools I need to fulfill all He has called me to.  Maybe somewhere in there He’ll include a husband.  Maybe not.  Either way, however, I will not be lacking, because in Him I have EVERYTHING!  Once again, am I pursuing God’s purpose for my life, or am I trying to force my own self-determined purpose on Him?          

Verse 5:  “Everyone who is arrogant in heart is an abomination to the LORD; be assured, he will not go unpunished.”  An abomination to the Lord?  That’s a pretty serious statement!  But I believe there is a lot of truth in this, especially when it comes to relationships and dating.  I think the “list mentality” can be a sign of arrogance because it portrays the message that “I know best.  In fact, because I know best, and this is what I think I need, by golly I’m gonna get it!”  I think it can be  both presumptuous and prideful. But let’s take a step back.  Take me, for example.  Yes, I have ideas of what qualities a godly man should possess.  And while I don’t necessarily always hope for the “tall, dark and handsome” type, I confess there are certain traits I find more attractive in men. This seems innocent, but looking back at this verse, is it really arrogant? I think it all comes down to the heart.  Who am I trusting in?  Myself or the One who is bigger than me? Personally, I know this: God is bigger than any of my lists!  As my Creator and Father, He knows me intimately, and He knows me better than I even know myself.  In fact, because He knows me better than I even know myself, He also knows what I need more thoroughly than I myself know! And that even includes the type of man I Lord-willing marry someday!  I believe wholeheartedly that God has something glorious in store for me.  Whether that is a life of singleness or marriage, I do not know.  And yet I do know this: whatever God has in store, He will make it clear and He will equip me for it.  And furthermore, I will be incredibly grateful in the end because whatever He brings me, it will be way beyond anything I could ever dare ask or imagine.   To draw from Tim Keller, “[…my] mind is not open enough or frankly smart enough to know what [I] spiritually need.”  God is bigger than our lists.  I know this because countless times I have seen Him turn such lists completely upside-down!  God gives us what we need, not what we want!  And to demand our near-sighted desires be met and blessed by Him is both arrogance and foolishness!      

Verse 9: “The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” You mean I don't have the final say?  No.  You can plan all you want, but God always has the last word.   Once again, this is another affirmation that God is bigger than our lists!   

Verse 25: "There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death."  Death?  Whoa, that's pretty serious! Many of you are probably wondering if death in this context is meant literally or figuratively.  I would argue both.  I think a family friend stated it very well when she said, "Dream your dreams, but if God isn't in them they'll soon become your worst nightmares."  Nightmares which will manifest themselves in physical, emotional, and spiritual death.  Yes, I hope to be married someday.  Indeed, very much so.  But I only want this if it is indeed what the Lord has for me.  If it is not in His plan, I want no part in it. I’d rather be in God’s will and single than pursuing my own will and married.  If I determine for myself that I will be married, and I pursue that apart from God’s will, I have no doubt that it will be disastrous.  I mean, how more disastrous than death can it get? It can’t! 

As I wrap up, I want to look at The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer.  He writes, "There can be no doubt that this possessive clinging to things is one of the most harmful habits in the life. Because it is natural, it is rarely recognized for the evil that it is. But its outworkings are tragic. We are often hindered from giving up our treasures to the Lord out of fear for their safety. That is especially true when those treasures are loved relatives and friends. But we need have no such fear. Our Lord came not to destroy but to save. Everything is safe which we commit to Him, and nothing is really safe which is not so committed."  What are these "things" we cling to?  Well, it can most definitely be those treasures and relationships which are tangible.  But I also believe these "things" we cling to can just as much be ideas.  In the world of dating and relationships, especially prospective relationships, these ideas and images can manifest themselves in lists, either physical or mental.  The problem is, these notions are often constructed out of our own selfish and sometimes misguided yearnings.  

And so I close with this: like John Newton, I want my joyful prayer to be, "Lord, what you will, when you will, how you will."  If it is the Lord's will that I be blessed enough to be married some day, I am trusting that He will bring that man into my life in His good timing.  And I am trusting that He will do that apart from, and in spite of, my meek lists.  Until then, I have the duty of singleness, and I want to be used by my Lord and Savior where He has me now—and that is as a single college student.  I don’t want to waste this precious time away yearning for something that might not even be in the Lord’s plan for me.   Instead of focusing on lists and daydreaming about my future spouse, I want to pour my time and energy into accomplishing all that God has for me and day by day, growing more and more into a woman after His own heart.  Lord, what you will, when you will, how you will.  Amen.

**Note:  For those of you concerned folks out there, that list at the beginning is not Sara Seeland’s “What I Want in a Husband” list.  It was rather a compilation and exaggeration of lists I have seen over the past.  Please forgive the ridiculous sarcasm as I sought to re-create snippets from those lists. 

Omega Point: Who or What is Yours?

Pastor Tim Keller has such a profound gift for clearly proclaiming the truths of the gospel.  In his sermon “The Cosmic King”, Tim Keller makes a point that “You don't serve God to get things. You serve God to get God. God is His own happy ending.” Keller explains that our omega points are the things of which we say, “Unless I have ______, my life is meaningless.” I was so convicted by this, and I have since done a lot of reflecting. Am I purely serving God and using Him as the means to my own end?  Well, how do I know if I am simply using God in this manner?  Well, how do I respond to God when things don’t go the way I would like?  Do I come before God in frustration and say “I’ve done_______, _______, and _______ for You, so why is _______ still happening?”  Or maybe even, “Why haven’t I received _______ after all I’ve done?”   If so, this is a telltale sign that I am using God as a slot machine—I expect to put in my time, prayers, and service in return for the “stuff” I want—my “omega points” as Keller calls them.

Tim Keller makes a profound point in his sermon, one which hit me hard.    Essentially, he states that if you are using God to reach your own ends, you are merely treating him as “chopped liver”, and in the end you will find yourself without God and without the “end” or “point” you were pursuing.  Keller states, “The things that you want the most, you’ll never get if you want them the most.  Because anything you want the most is your omega point, and any omega point but Jesus Christ will self-destruct.”  Secondary things cannot become ultimate things, but oh how quickly we elevate them to that position!   When we do this, we are essentially treating God as if He is negotiable, and our own ends are non-negotiable.  Often as a result, when we don’t get the things we want, we stop using God because He has “failed” and so we turn to other things to help us reach our end-goals. What a difference from the way we were purposed to live our lives, serving God to get God!

My prayer is that Jesus Christ will be my greatest end.  I want to serve Him to get Him without the ulterior motive of using Him to meet my other, lower end points.  Every moment of my life is meaningful and meant to be centered on Christ, and so only the things that are done through Him, for Him, and with Him will truly last.  Christ will last—nothing else will! In Christ I have everything, and as Keller points out, anything outside of Himself that He chooses to bless me with in this life is gravy. In the midst of the busyness of this spring semester, my longing prayer is that I will have a heart and a passion for God, accompanied by a deep hunger to know Him and make Him known.  May I never make use of God as my means, for He is the only true and glorious omega point!     

CLICK HERE to listen to Cosmic King

"House Rules" for God's Church

I occasionally poke around on Tim Keller’s blog and I happened to stumble across this list the other day.  Keller states that this list of “one another” commands embodies the “House Rules” for God’s church.  Needless to say, as I scrolled through the list I was very convicted by my failure to live out these commands, for they are exactly that—commands.  These are not suggestions I can follow as I please or when I just so happen to be in the right “mood.”  No, as a member of Christ’s body I am called to serve and encourage my brothers and sisters in Christ, even when it requires sacrifice on my part.  In fact, if I am wholeheartedly pursuing Christ, I should be more than eager to lay aside my own pride and selfish desires as I pour into those God has so graciously placed in my life.

1. Be at peace with each other (Mk 9:50)

2. Love one another (Jn 13:34)

3. Be joined to one another (Ro 12:5)

4. Be devoted to one another (Ro 12:10)

5. Honor one another (Ro 12:10)

6. Rejoice with one another (Ro 12:15)

7. Weep with one another (Ro 12:15)

8. Live in harmony with one another (Ro 12:16)

9. Accept one another (Ro 15:7)

10. Counsel one another (Ro 15:14)

11. Greet one another (Ro 16:16)

12. Agree with each other (1 Co 1:10)

13. Wait for one another (1Co 11:33)

14. Care for one another (1Co 12:25)

15. Serve one another (Gal 5:13)

16. Carry one another’s burdens (Gal 6:2)

17. Be kind to one another (Eph 4:32)

18. Forgive one another (Eph 4:32)

19. Submit to one another (Eph 5:21)

20. Bear with one another (Col 3:13)

21. Teach, admonish each other (Col 3:16)

22. Encourage one another (1Th 5:11)

23. Build up one another (1Th 5:11)

24. Spur one another on (Heb 10:24)

25. Offer hospitality to one another (1Pe 4:9)

26. Minister gifts to one another (1Pe 4:10)

27. Be humble toward one another (1Pe 5:5)

28. Confess your sins to one another (Jas 5:16)

29. Pray for one another (Jas 5:16)

30. Fellowship with one another (1Jn 1:7)

Undivided Heart

 “Teach me your way O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.” (Psalm 86:11)

After my spring semester ended in a not-so-desirable way, God took on the job of breaking down Sara.  Now, from the world’s perspective this must sound harsh, the act of a cruel God who takes a sort of sick pleasure in inflicting pain and suffering on His so-called “child.”  Indeed, Project Sara was harsh, painful even.   And it continues to be so! I didn’t want God intruding into my life, throwing open the doors to my heart and allowing all of my hidden idolatries to flood out.  I had worked so hard to conceal them, and now to my great horror God was exposing my true heart.

I had allowed these idolatries to creep into my heart, perhaps because in them I saw their empty, yet nonetheless enticing, promises. I love how Pastor Tim Keller (Redeemer Presbyterian Church, NYC) draws from Luther to explain the root of idolatry:

“All people sin in general because we are sinners, but why do we sin in any particular instance? Luther indicates the first commandment is foundational to all the others. Why? Because we will not break commandments 2-10 unless we are in some way breaking commandment One and serving some idol. Every sin is rooted in the inordinate lust for something which comes because we are trusting in that thing rather than in Christ for our righteousness or salvation. At the moment we sin it is because we are looking to something to give us what only Jesus can give us. Beneath any particular sin is the general sin of rejecting Christ-salvation and indulging in self-salvation.”

Though I claimed Christ to be the source of my identify, the hidden recesses of my heart exposed the opposite.   I was keenly aware of this disconnect, for the life I portrayed to others stood in sharp opposition to the inner workings of my heart which were geared elsewhere. I had entertained my idols, gradually at first, but by now I was caught up in a viscous and downward-spiraling cycle which they controlled; I was overrun and my every action, word and thought had been taken captive by the very things I had turned towards to save me. I had striven and sacrificed my heart on the altars of vanity, lust-love, peer approval, and so much more. 

As a fugitive running headlong into self-destruction, I needed to be saved from myself.  In my pride I thought I had the self-will to bring about lasting change without outside help.  Wrong.  At the time, I questioned why God didn’t intervene.  Did He care?  Did He even see the mess I was in?  Why didn’t He help?  Now, however, I realize that it was exactly for that reason that God didn’t intervene immediately—the all-powerful Creator of the Universe is not one I casually invite to be my helper.  

And so, God acted lovingly by allowing me to reach the end of myself.  After many failed attempts at purging myself of my idols, I became painfully aware of both my addictions and my own helplessness in ridding myself of them.  Looking back, I thank God that He allowed me to struggle alone for a period, for it only drove me to my knees before him.   It was when I reached the point of crying out to Him, pleading for Him to rule my life and become more than simply my helper that God mercifully yet firmly intervened.  In His wisdom and power He began by stripping me of my pride, pride which had left me drowning in a pool of self-reliance.  He gave me a hunger for His Word, through which His Spirit softened my heart.  He removed my blinders and allowed me to gaze upon the true state of my heart.  He also gave me ears to hear the concerned words of others, loving guidance which I had previously perceived as critical, moral attacks.  

Over the course of the summer, the Holy Spirit worked in a myriad of ways.  Two specific results of His work are as follows: (1) I deactivated my Facebook account (2) I no longer have a death grip on my cell phone. I even knowingly allow my cell phone to run out of battery—imagine that!  Now, these may sound trivial, but both Facebook and my cell phone had become the means through which I fed my prideful self-image, sacrificing horrendous amounts of time to each—especially texting.  Looking back it makes me sick.  I cannot undo the past, but thank God that without the distractions of Facebook and my constantly-vibrating phone, He allowed me to be home and remain focused this summer—focused on the children I nanny, my family relationships, my prayer life, the Truth Project, and immersing myself in His Word.   Knowing my deepest struggles, God also graciously provided a young woman after His own heart to mentor and disciple me in my faith.  I am so blessed that she was willing to sacrifice her time to invest in me, for as she poured herself into me God used her as a tool to speak His truth into my life.  Praise God, for six months ago I balked at the idea of accountability and submission! 

And so, it wasn’t until this summer that I finally grasped what the psalmist was praying for when he pleaded that God grant him an undivided heart.  As the summer draws to an end and I reflect on the past months, I see everywhere the merciful intervention of my Heavenly Father who brought me to the end of myself and allowed me to see my idols through His eyes as lies and empty promises that wreak havoc on the soul when given a foothold.  Though I still have a web of sins and idolatries, I thank God that He is longsuffering with His ever-wandering child. With my Junior year fast-approaching, my prayer, like the psalmist’s, has become: Teach me your way O Lord, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name!  I am either pursuing God or I am pursuing the idolatrous affairs of my heart.  There is no in-between.  With all the business and demands of college I will face in the months ahead, my deep prayer is that God will protect my heart, guarding it against the perilous pulls of this world. I want my eyes to be fixed on God—I want to want Him, to pursue Him, and to find my satisfaction, identity, rest, peace and assurance in Him and Him alone!  May He strip me of myself and replace in me a hunger for Himself!