Low Expectations

When someone says, “Just do your best”, what do they really mean? Do they want you to toil and sweat, to stay up late and push yourself like you have never pushed before? Do they want you to reach further, whatever the cost, in order to be the best that you can be? Most definitely not! They don’t really mean “Do your best”, but rather, “Do what you need to do to just get by”. This common phrase, far from encouraging individuals to truly aspire to greatness, in reality fosters just the opposite—complacency and mediocrity. When teens and young adults hear this phrase, we are not motivated to reach higher and further than ever before, but are given permission to get by with just the bare minimum.  When asked if we’ve done our best, most of us will quickly respond with “Yeah, I did my best.”  In reality, however, few of us have.  What we really mean in our answers is “I gave it a shot…that will have to do.”  In a very crafty way, our society has become an expert at encouraging mediocrity indirectly. We know that to boldly state, “just get by”, would be so obviously wrong, for it so blatantly encourages laziness. The expression “just do your best”, however, is our culture’s way of excusing mediocrity under the guise of motivation. Our culture has set low expectations for teens and young adults, and as long as we can believe that we are doing our “best” while really slacking off, our half-hearted efforts will be enough to satisfy those around us.

Today’s culture has set low expectations for its young people, low expectations which end up trapping and limiting young members of society (and even those who are older) for no good reason.  Our culture isn’t the only one to blame, however—like most people, we teens and young adults like our comfort zones and the low expectations that surround us.  Why should we attempt big challenges when, by our culture’s standards, we are already “good enough”?  Most of us are content with where our culture has set the bar and we don’t want it raised since that would take us from our worlds of comfort. We see these low expectations in many different areas, especially as teens and young adults are expected to be increasingly immature, irresponsible and incompetent. This can be seen in that the “teen” or “young adult” years are getting longer and longer, whereby we are seeing men and women in their thirties and forties still acting like children. Such men and women are not consistent, they are not stable, and they increasingly unable to make decisions and transition into adulthood. In fact, this insane behavior is even becoming socially acceptable, and all in the name of “youthfulness”, “experimenting” and my favorite—“freedom”.  Well, what I’d like to ask is, what about our God-given responsibility to grow and mature into young men and women after His own heart?  Men and women who are in His Word and pursuing His will?  Men and women who are secure in God’s sovereignty and are therefore willing to step out of their comfort zones in faith?  As teens and young adults we are are no longer littler children, and so it’s time we stop meandering through life as if we were.

The phrase “Just do your best” is a trap because it allows us to get away with giving less than our best.  Young adults and even teens do have the ability to accomplish great things, but most of us have let fear and discomfort limit what we attempt—we are unwilling to take a risk and step outside of our comfort zones.  This phrase keeps us from moving out of our comfort zones while allowing us to excuse our pitiful performance and behavior—or lack of it.  As a result of this, many of us make excuse after excuse, such as, “I’m bad with numbers”, “My brain just doesn’t work that way”, “I’m just not a people person”, and even “I just don’t know what God wants for me”.  Herein lies the problem. Telling ourselves that we are already doing our best and excusing our mediocre efforts, we fail to push ourselves beyond what comes easily and naturally for us.  But that is what we need in order to grow and mature—in spite of our many fears, we must take those scary steps outside our comfort zones even though we may feel very much alone.  Yes, it is here outside our comfort zones that we will be most tested.  However, it is also here that we will be most astounded as we experience the growth and changes in Christ that we never thought possible.

Before moving on, I would like to take a moment to address the last example from the common excuses one may hear today, especially in Christian circles.  The phrase “I just don’t know what God wants for me” sounds all good and spiritual, but it can be a cover-up for indecision and many other crippling elements.  I have no doubt that most of us have the best intentions surrounding discerning God’s will.  However, too often we fall into the trap of over-spiritualizing our decisions, to the point that we don’t make any decision at all—we simply stay where we are and continue to say “I just don’t know what God’s will is for my life”.  I love how Tim Keller described it in one of his sermons: He told how he frequently speaks with men and women in his church who are trying to discern God’s will for their lives.  They come to him, asking him for advice and pleading with him to show them God’s will.  His response?  “You’re standing in it.”  Yes, if we are whole-heartedly pursuing our God, we are standing in His will!  We may not know what God wants every step of the way, in fact, we often don’t—we know God has a plan for out lives, but often that plan is not revealed.  It is for this reason that God gave us minds to think, whereby He invites us to take risks for Him as we step out in faith and obedience.  God works as we move forward.

Overall, we young adults and teens have come to measure ourselves against a standard the culture has set, but that standard and the expectations that come with it has been set way too low.  We are expected to be self-centered, rebellious, irresponsible and the like.  We are expected to be poor managers of time, wasteful, and carefree. The phrase “Just do your best” has not helped the situation of most teens and young adults. Rather, it has only reinforced the message that the culture is feeding us—or better yet, the lie the culture feeds us. We have been given the perfect excuse to sit back, relax, and enjoy our teen years, free of any real responsibility or accountability.   Sadly, when one of us rises above these incredibly low expectations which society has fostered, we are labeled as “above average”, when in reality we are simply doing what we ought. Unfortunately, most of us feel special about being “above average” and fail to realize that “above average” when the bar is set so low is anything but commendable—we are labeled as exceptions merely for meeting skimpy requirements. This is a tragedy, for most of us have never actually pushed ourselves hard enough to find out what we are truly capable of. We are capable of so much more, yet we rarely go beyond the minimum of what is expected and required.  God has given us this time, but for many, our teen and young adult years, with so much potential, are being wasted.