Mark Driscoll: How Dare You

I have recently come along a good friend and joined her in prayer for a friend of hers. This particular girl’s family is in the midst of being torn apart by the actions of an abusive father and husband.  This man is not engaged in the lives of his wife or children, and the message they receive from him is loud and clear—they are meaningless to him.   However, this man doesn’t only fail as the leader of his home because he has neglected them.  As if that weren’t enough, he also bears down on them with a reign of terror. In fact, it has recently become so bad that the mother is now too afraid to go to bed at night for fear of facing her husband’s bitter hatred.  She has thus resorted to crawling into bed with her daughter, both of them hugging and crying themselves to sleep as the night drags on.  Afraid to seek help from the church for fear of what the father will do, this mother and her children have resorted to submitting to this man’s tyranny. Having experienced a similar situation with my own family, it both breaks my heart and angers me to hear of other families suffering such horror and heartache.  The families in today’s churches are under attack, and I believe Satan is waging war against the Christian home, seeking to destroy the lives of men and women who profess the name of Christ. In fact, I’m sure we would be shocked if we knew how prevalent this is in today’s church.

Satan has done a masterful job at distorting the two divine mandates of headship and submission. Sadly, it is not uncommon to see men who authoritatively control their families in a selfish, self-serving way. On the other extreme, today’s church is filled with men who cede the responsibility for guiding the family to their wives. Likewise, while some women are dominated by their husbands, others seek to “wear the pants” and control the relationship.  This is not God’s ideal, yet we have so quickly abandoned it! We are in desperate need of husbands and fathers who have the courage to stand upon the Word of God, men who honor their God-given responsibility to lead, guide, protect, and provide for their families. 

This situation with my friends reminds me of this this clip from Mark Driscoll.  It is very powerful!  He boldly confronts the men in his church, men who are neglecting, dishonoring, and abusing God’s daughters. This snippet is taken from his "Marriage and Men" sermon. Fed up with the havoc wreaked by men acting like boys, Driscoll calls out the men in his church, challenging them to grow up and treat women the way they are called to be treated. It is a very sobering message, and I'm sure many women wish the men in their lives had the ears to hear it.

Since the garden of Eden when Adam and Eve first fell in sin, the realm of marriage and family has been a raging battlefield.  Today, I believe the church has a responsibility to shepherd its flock, supporting and challenging its members and, when necessary, practicing loving church discipline.  Just as church leaders will be held accountable for how they shepherd their community, so too will husbands and wives.   My prayer is that God will give husbands the courage to seek accountability and provide the loving leadership God intended them to exercise, and wives the grace to respect and support their husbands.