Personal Testimony: Trip Lee

"I never lived a wild lifestyle, but I was hopelessly dead in my sins." This is a short, concise, but very powerful testimony by Trip Lee.  I was extremely encouraged and challenged by all he had to say, and  I was especially struck by his comment, "But I don't think I was [a Christian] because my sin didn't bother me and Jesus was not precious to me." Wow.

What Love

I am continually amazed by God’s particular love for His children.  Just the other week, my younger sister, Ingrid, shared in youth group an upcoming event she wanted prayer for.  As she shared her particular struggles and concerns with her small group, they prayed that God would protect Ingrid both spiritualy and emotionally.

The following day—the day this particular event was to take place—my sister was at school.  For her, it seemed like any other normal day in the life of a high school freshman, but that was soon to change. Excusing herself from one of her classes to use the restroom, Ingrid saw a flyer on the bathroom mirror with tear-off tabs.   Curious, she approached the flyer to notice it read, “Take what you need.”  There was one tab left: Protection. 

Ripping off the tab and flipping it over, she read the Bible verse written on the back, "God you are my hiding place, you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance" Psalm 32:7. 

What a coincidence!  How wonderful that Ingrid was in the right place at the right time. At least, that's what many could and probably would say.  And yet, consider the incredible detail in the events that unfolded:  To begin, Ingrid was led to share a concern and struggle with her small group at church, something which led them to pray a very specific prayer of protection for her.  Then, the following day, of all the possible bathrooms Ingrid could have gone into at a giant high school, she happened to enter this particular one.  Also, at a public high school like Minnetonka, faith matters—while maybe not actively discouraged—certainly aren't encouraged.  And yet, despite this, some female student felt led to place a flyer with encouraging Bible verses in one of the bathrooms, a flyer with only one tab remaining: Protection. Coincidence or providence?

I don't believe what happened last week was coincidence, and neither does Ingrid.  Honestly, I believe coincidence, chance, luck and other such words are simply worldly terms for providence. In Christian circles, providence is a term that gets thrown around a lot.  Yet what is it and what does it mean? In a current book study on Trusting God by Jerry Bridges, I am learning that providence is "God's constant care for and His absolute rule over all His creation for His own glory and the good of His people." And so, to recognize God's providence is to realize that not only is He sovereign over all things, but He actively guides and directs all things in accordance with His ultimate purpose: our good and His glory.  

And yet, God's sovereignty is not always apparent.  In fact, it often isn't.  Take the stories of Ruth and Esther, for example.  In Ruth’s case, we read, “So she set forth and went and gleaned in the field after the reapers; and she happened to come to the part of the field belonging to Boaz, who was of the family of Elimelech. And behold, Boaz came from Bethlehem…”(Ruth 2:3-4a).  Basically, no one told Ruth to glean from  Boaz’s field, yet his was the field she came upon by happenchance.  And who just happened to return home while Ruth was gleaning in the field? None other than the master of the house himself: Boaz.  Talk about perfect timing.  What is more, we read later in the chapter that Ruth found favor with Boaz.  Why?  Did she just happen to be in the right place at the right time?  Or was something or Someone greater at work?

Esther’s case is another prime example of the unseen hand of God. Throughout the entire book, God remains hidden behind the scenes—He doesn’t speak, He doesn’t send angels to rescue His people nor does He send a prophet.  There are no miracles in this book, nothing supernatural.  And so, in many respects, Esther appears to be a Godless book.  And yet, all of the events that transpire in the book of Esther scream of God’s love, power, goodness, grace, justice, and faithfulness.  As Mordecai himself says to Esther, “And who knows whether you have not come to the kingdom for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14b). For those familiar with the story of Esther, you know how it ends. But how is this so?  As pastor Mark Driscoll states, “God works in Esther not through His visible hand of miracle, but through His invisible hand of providence.”   

And yet, despite His seeming invisibility, I am becoming increasingly aware of the ways in which God makes Himself known in so many intimate, personal ways.  It's amazing that God cares so deeply for His children that He shows His love so specifically.  What kindness!  The other week, God showed His specific love for Ingrid on the mirror in one of her high school bathrooms.  When I reflect on my own life, I am astounded by the countless ways in which God has shown me that same, specific love.  Personally, I know that so often I resign myself to "facts" about God... His goodness, sovereignty, power, love, etc. And these truths are incredibly important, yet in order to have a deeper, more personal relationship with my Lord and Savior, I cannot rely solely on facts.  To have this, I must come to see Him in the midst of my personal pain and rejoicing, struggles and triumphs—I see His providence in the details of my life, and through this, grow in my trust of Him.  As someone just said to me recently, "You can't have a real relationship without trust.  If you don't have trust, there's no relationship."  Such a simple statement, yet so true.  And this is why I believe God is so specific in His love towards us—He wants us to trust Him, to rely solely on Him and to have faith in His power and goodness.   He can't help but overflow in abundant lovingkindness towards us, a love which, in turn, can't help but win our trust.  I am in awe of this—that my Father, the God of the universe, loves me that deeply, right now. What love, great love.  

Our Testimony, God's Story

Our stories—with both their past and ongoing heartaches, sins, rebellions and joys—are beautiful testimonies of God’s redeeming love and boundless grace towards us.  Every aspect of our testimony, from our prodigal son-like recklessness to humble repentance, contributes to our story.  Both the tragedies and triumphs are knit together in such a manner that they cannot and should not be separated—victories do not bring joy without the struggle that precedes them, and satisfying and beautiful rest is not seen as such apart from contrasting trials. And so you cannot have the one without the other—tragedy and triumph go hand-in-hand.  

When it comes to my testimony, I confess that at times I prefer to “leave out” some details, especially when it relates to my own shortcomings. Yet God has faithfully worked on me with His divine brush, so why do I attempt to paint a different picture of my life?  At times I’m ashamed of what I did and who I was—ashamed that I lived as I did and didn’t have my life more “together”.   In other instances, my pride influences what I share.  If something makes me look better, I’ll share it.  If it cuts to the root of my sinful heart, however, it’s conveniently left out.  In such instances, my shame and pride display both arrogance and a resistance to share my own struggles.

Maybe we wish our testimony was somehow different. Perhaps we think to ourselves:

If only I hadn’t been so stubborn in my sin… 

If only I would have repented sooner…

 If only I would have surrendered myself to Christ before this or that happened...

 If only I didn’t backslide…

Or maybe upon hearing the testimony of another, we hesitate to share ours, thinking:

How on earth am I supposed to follow on the heels of that testimony? Compared to that story, mine isn’t that profound.  I wish I had a more radical, compelling story.  Mine pales in comparison…

Or maybe we even feel:

Wow, their “sinful living” was nothing compared to the darkness I embraced.  They’ve hardly done anything wrong.  I feel so dirty compared to them.  Maybe I shouldn’t share my full story.  They’ll either be offended or write me off if they know the full extent of who I once was…who I am…

I think Satan hurls these lies against us in the hopes of keeping us from sharing our testimonies.  Why? I believe that in causing us to feel self-conscious or insecure about our story, the evil one hopes to turn our focus inward.  Our story, however, isn’t really ours —it’s God’s.  And that is precisely why we should share it and exactly why Satan will utilize all his power to try and keep us quiet.   

The reality of the matter, however, is that just because we each possess a different story does not mean that one testimony is somehow “better” than the next.  In fact, the uniqueness of our testimonies is beautiful because God specifically customizes His work in each one of us.  The end goal—our salvation and sanctification and His glorification—is the same for all, but the means by which we are drawn to Him and the processes by which He works in our lives are hand-tailored to each one of us.  We are not cookie-cutouts.  Different does not mean better, and we must guard ourselves against falling prey to such lies.  We need all sorts of testimonies, for they remind us that no one is beyond the reach of God’s grace or the need of God’s grace.

So yes, sharing our stories is important.  It encourages our hearts and the hearts of those around us in several ways.  First, sharing our testimony compels us to remember all that God has brought to pass in our life.  Personally, I am so prone to forgetting—forgetting how lost I was in my sin, the painful trials I struggled through, and God’s faithfulness in the midst of all.  I forget who I am and Whose I am.  When I share my story, however, I am quickly reminded I am more underserving and sinful than I ever dared think, but as God’s precious daughter I am more loved and accepted than I ever dared hope.   Sharing our story is thus the means by which we are reminded of who we are, but more importantly, Whose we are and who God is.  Secondly, sharing our story lifts our hearts and emboldens us as we are reminded of the power of the One we serve.  When we share our stories, we are reminded that the Holy Spirit works in profound ways and is able to accomplish beyond all we could ever ask or imagine.  So we can take heart, knowing that God is for us and fights on our behalf.  Thirdly, I think God is pleased and glorified when we share our stories with others.  If we share our stories in a truly honest and humble manner, the focus in the end should not be on us.  While it may appear as though we own our story, the reality of the matter is that Christ’s work in our lives should reflect God’s glory and place the spotlight on Him.   We see that God reaches all sorts of people, softening the hardest of hearts and drawing even religious churchgoers into personal relationship with Himself. It is God who fiercely yet tenderly woos us in.  We cannot take credit for this.    

  

Along with this, the question may arise as to whether or not we should care what others think of us as we share our stories. Yes and no.  Yes, we should care in the sense that we bear the name of Christ and are thus responsible for how we represent Him. The Gospel is offensive enough to many unbelievers—we ourselves should not be offensive.  There is also a sense, however, in which we should not care what others think.  When we share our stories, the emphasis should not be on our excellency, wisdom, or honor.  If people approve of us, it should be because they see and love and rejoice in Christ’s work in our lives.  In other words, they approve of us not because of what we have done, but because of what Christ has done in us and through us on our behalf.  There may be some, however, who upon hearing our stories reject us.  While no one whishes to be resisted or condemned, our identity does not rest on the opinions of others.  We should not attempt to change who we are or alter the theme of our stories simply to avoid rejection or win the approval of others.  I love what John Piper stated in a sermon on Christian identity and Christian destiny:

“[…] as a Christian you cannot talk about your identity without talking about the action of God on you, the relationship of God with you, and the purpose of God for you. The biblical understanding of human self-identity is radically God-centered…[God] has given us our identity in order that his identity might be proclaimed through us. God made us who we are so we could make known who he is. Our identity is for the sake of making known his identity. The meaning of our identity is that the excellency of God be seen in us.”

As the other day was Christmas, my stepdad sat and read John 1:1-18 to the family.  Prior to yesterday, I had typically overlooked John’s role in this passage and instead focused on Christ, who is referred to as both the life and light of men.  The other night, however, several things struck me regarding John.  We read:

“There was a man sent from God, whose name was John.  He came as a witness, to bear witness about the light, that all might believe through him. He was not the light, but came to bear witness about the light.”

First, what struck me is that John was a witness.  In other words, John’s role was to give testimony to others of who Christ was.   Secondly, when I had previously read “that all might believe through him”, I had always assumed that “him” referred to the “light”, or Christ.  I didn’t realize, however, that “him” refers to John—Christ’s witness.  What I find fascinating is that while it is belief in Christ that saves, most people come to see and believe in Christ through the testimony of others.  John was a witness proclaiming Christ such that others were drawn to faith through his testimony. We also read that “[Christ] was in the world, and the world was made through him, yet the world did not know him.  He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.”  It seems then that witnesses are important exactly because the world is hostile to Christ and the Gospel.  We ourselves are not the light, but we are responsible for reflecting and radiating that Light to a dark world.  Because of this, we cannot neglect our role since we are one of God’s means for drawing His children to Himself. 

So what does all of this mean?  Alone, you and I may be only one voice, but together we can live and proclaim God’s work in our lives in such a way that brings glory to Him.  As we are filled with God’s Spirit, our hearts should overflow with thankfulness for His merciful and gracious work in our lives and an eagerness to share what He has done.  Our words and actions and attitudes should proclaim and display the goodness of God—in the way we speak and live, we should portray Christ in such a manner that others are drawn to Him.  So out of our love for God and others, let us rejoice and boldly share who we are, Whose we are, who God is, and the glorious ways He is at work in our lives.