New Year Prayer and Resolution from Elliot and Edwards

I pray that some day I will have a boldness and passion similar to what these men had, that I too may have the courage and conviction to pray this for myself each and every day! 

“I pray that the Lord might crown this year with His goodness and in the coming one give you a hallowed dare-devil spirit in lifting the biting sword of Truth, consuming you with a passion that is called by the cultured citizen of Christendom 'fanaticism', but known to God as that saintly madness that led His Son through bloody sweat and hot tears to agony on a rude Cross---and Glory!”

-Jim Elliot

“Resolution One: I will live for God. Resolution Two: If no one else does, I still will.”

 -Jonathan Edwards

Reflecting on the Past Year and Looking Forward

As I look back on this past year, not only am I amazed at how fast it has gone, but I am blown away by God’s abundant and gracious provision, protection, guidance and faithfulness to me.  With each passing year God is stripping the scales from my eyes and allowing me to see more of Him for who He truly is.  I am such a painfully slow learner sometimes, and I myself believe I would have given up on me a long time ago, which is why I thank God He is patient with His ever-wandering child.   Thank you Lord!

As I go into this coming year (2012...eek!) I am both excited and anxious—excited for everything God has in store for me, but nevertheless anxious in not knowing what those things will be.  What I do know, however, is this:  My duty and desire is to love, honor, and worship my God in ALL that I do and in all that He brings me to.  And that truly is my desire.  I want to want God, to long for Him and pursue Him more than I ever have before.  I know in my own strength I am incapable of this, but I thank God for His Son and the work of the Holy Spirit in my life, as well as for fellow brothers and sisters in Christ who are encouraging and challenging me in my faith.  I want to be a woman after God’s own heart, undistracted and unwavered by the incessant pulls from the lusts and vanities of this world.  May this next year be a year filled with God’s glorious work as I seek to wholeheartedly pursue Him through Christ!

Low Expectations

When someone says, “Just do your best”, what do they really mean? Do they want you to toil and sweat, to stay up late and push yourself like you have never pushed before? Do they want you to reach further, whatever the cost, in order to be the best that you can be? Most definitely not! They don’t really mean “Do your best”, but rather, “Do what you need to do to just get by”. This common phrase, far from encouraging individuals to truly aspire to greatness, in reality fosters just the opposite—complacency and mediocrity. When teens and young adults hear this phrase, we are not motivated to reach higher and further than ever before, but are given permission to get by with just the bare minimum.  When asked if we’ve done our best, most of us will quickly respond with “Yeah, I did my best.”  In reality, however, few of us have.  What we really mean in our answers is “I gave it a shot…that will have to do.”  In a very crafty way, our society has become an expert at encouraging mediocrity indirectly. We know that to boldly state, “just get by”, would be so obviously wrong, for it so blatantly encourages laziness. The expression “just do your best”, however, is our culture’s way of excusing mediocrity under the guise of motivation. Our culture has set low expectations for teens and young adults, and as long as we can believe that we are doing our “best” while really slacking off, our half-hearted efforts will be enough to satisfy those around us.

Today’s culture has set low expectations for its young people, low expectations which end up trapping and limiting young members of society (and even those who are older) for no good reason.  Our culture isn’t the only one to blame, however—like most people, we teens and young adults like our comfort zones and the low expectations that surround us.  Why should we attempt big challenges when, by our culture’s standards, we are already “good enough”?  Most of us are content with where our culture has set the bar and we don’t want it raised since that would take us from our worlds of comfort. We see these low expectations in many different areas, especially as teens and young adults are expected to be increasingly immature, irresponsible and incompetent. This can be seen in that the “teen” or “young adult” years are getting longer and longer, whereby we are seeing men and women in their thirties and forties still acting like children. Such men and women are not consistent, they are not stable, and they increasingly unable to make decisions and transition into adulthood. In fact, this insane behavior is even becoming socially acceptable, and all in the name of “youthfulness”, “experimenting” and my favorite—“freedom”.  Well, what I’d like to ask is, what about our God-given responsibility to grow and mature into young men and women after His own heart?  Men and women who are in His Word and pursuing His will?  Men and women who are secure in God’s sovereignty and are therefore willing to step out of their comfort zones in faith?  As teens and young adults we are are no longer littler children, and so it’s time we stop meandering through life as if we were.

The phrase “Just do your best” is a trap because it allows us to get away with giving less than our best.  Young adults and even teens do have the ability to accomplish great things, but most of us have let fear and discomfort limit what we attempt—we are unwilling to take a risk and step outside of our comfort zones.  This phrase keeps us from moving out of our comfort zones while allowing us to excuse our pitiful performance and behavior—or lack of it.  As a result of this, many of us make excuse after excuse, such as, “I’m bad with numbers”, “My brain just doesn’t work that way”, “I’m just not a people person”, and even “I just don’t know what God wants for me”.  Herein lies the problem. Telling ourselves that we are already doing our best and excusing our mediocre efforts, we fail to push ourselves beyond what comes easily and naturally for us.  But that is what we need in order to grow and mature—in spite of our many fears, we must take those scary steps outside our comfort zones even though we may feel very much alone.  Yes, it is here outside our comfort zones that we will be most tested.  However, it is also here that we will be most astounded as we experience the growth and changes in Christ that we never thought possible.

Before moving on, I would like to take a moment to address the last example from the common excuses one may hear today, especially in Christian circles.  The phrase “I just don’t know what God wants for me” sounds all good and spiritual, but it can be a cover-up for indecision and many other crippling elements.  I have no doubt that most of us have the best intentions surrounding discerning God’s will.  However, too often we fall into the trap of over-spiritualizing our decisions, to the point that we don’t make any decision at all—we simply stay where we are and continue to say “I just don’t know what God’s will is for my life”.  I love how Tim Keller described it in one of his sermons: He told how he frequently speaks with men and women in his church who are trying to discern God’s will for their lives.  They come to him, asking him for advice and pleading with him to show them God’s will.  His response?  “You’re standing in it.”  Yes, if we are whole-heartedly pursuing our God, we are standing in His will!  We may not know what God wants every step of the way, in fact, we often don’t—we know God has a plan for out lives, but often that plan is not revealed.  It is for this reason that God gave us minds to think, whereby He invites us to take risks for Him as we step out in faith and obedience.  God works as we move forward.

Overall, we young adults and teens have come to measure ourselves against a standard the culture has set, but that standard and the expectations that come with it has been set way too low.  We are expected to be self-centered, rebellious, irresponsible and the like.  We are expected to be poor managers of time, wasteful, and carefree. The phrase “Just do your best” has not helped the situation of most teens and young adults. Rather, it has only reinforced the message that the culture is feeding us—or better yet, the lie the culture feeds us. We have been given the perfect excuse to sit back, relax, and enjoy our teen years, free of any real responsibility or accountability.   Sadly, when one of us rises above these incredibly low expectations which society has fostered, we are labeled as “above average”, when in reality we are simply doing what we ought. Unfortunately, most of us feel special about being “above average” and fail to realize that “above average” when the bar is set so low is anything but commendable—we are labeled as exceptions merely for meeting skimpy requirements. This is a tragedy, for most of us have never actually pushed ourselves hard enough to find out what we are truly capable of. We are capable of so much more, yet we rarely go beyond the minimum of what is expected and required.  God has given us this time, but for many, our teen and young adult years, with so much potential, are being wasted.   

Thank God I Am Weak

A few nights ago my mom came and sat in on my bed and comforted her teary-eyed, almost 21-year-old daughter.  Yes, me.   And why was I so emotional?  Well, there were a whole host of issues revolving around school, summer internships, relationships and overall feelings of inadequacy.  To put it simply—life.   After talking and praying with my mom, however, I am so thankful that I am not in control.  Yes, life’s fragility and unpredictability may be frightening at times, but I know myself well enough to understand that were I in control, I would have no use for God.   In other words, if I had the strength and ability to manage all of my life, God would be forgotten in a heartbeat, for I would have no need of Him.  And so, in an odd sense, I praise God that I am weak, because in the midst of my lack of control I am forced to reach out to Him.  Because I do not know that my next years will bring, or even my next semester, I run to God regularly.  I am thankful for all the unknowns and my lack of control—they are God’s wise and loving mercy to me, keeping me humbly at His feet where I am safest. 

Winter at the Lake

My family celebrated this past Christmas up north at our cabin.  All of the cousins spent hours out skating and playing hockey on the lake.  I took this picture when all of the cousins decided to skate across to the opposite shore.  Absolutely stunning...oh that more would be given the eyes to see that this beauty could  not result from simply "chance"!

Small Talk

“You didn’t feed the dog?  How would you like it if you didn’t get fed?”

“Seriously, you’re wearing that?”

“Ugh! You’re so obnoxious sometimes!”

Sadly, each of these phrases came out of my mouth at some point over the past few days.  In fact, if I had a recording of all my words from even the past week played back to me, I would probably be horrified by what I hear. Being home, I have been convicted by my shortness and irritability with my family—the people I love most! 

What is it about words? Above all the animals, God gave human beings the gift of verbal communication.  However, because most of our communication takes place in the ordinary, day-to-day moments of our lives, we begin to believe that communication is indeed ordinary. I myself have underestimated the significance of communication—especially words—and I am discovering that every day I am telling people what I think of them and what I want from them.  What is more, this doesn’t occur in long formal speeches or family meetings in the living room.  Rather, the heart of the messages I communicate are found in my quick side comments, such as when someone fails to feed the dog, walks out into the kitchen in a strange outfit, or invades my “personal bubble”. 

Eugene Peterson’s translation of a Proverbs 18:21 says: “Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose.”  As trivial as we may think our words are, everything we say has direction.  If I am bitter, angry, sarcastic, demeaning and hurtful, my words have the power to crush and kill a person’s spirit.  On the other hand, if my words are thoughtful, encouraging, joyful, peaceful, and loving, they have the power to raise and “give life” to a person’s spirit.   Clearly, our words have power—incredible power.  Unfortunately, I often fail in speaking forth “life-giving” words.  It is something I am deeply aware of though, and I am earnestly praying that the Holy Spirit will continue to work in me, and not only help me to think before I speak, but acknowledge my faults when I do tear others down. 

I am also learning that my “word problems” are an indicator of heart problems.  As Luke 6:24 states, “The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” I often find myself following a comment with “Just kidding!” or “Oops, I didn’t mean it like that!”  The fact is, however, I did mean it like that, and if the thought, feeling, motive, attitude or desire hadn’t first been in my heart, it wouldn’t have poured forth out of my mouth.  What does this mean then?  It means that if I wish to transform the way I talk to others, I have to start with my heart first.  If I try to deal with the problem simply by dealing with the words themselves, I am only scratching the surface, for the heart of the matter lies deep within.  My words are evidence of my daily need for God’s grace!

And so, as I stated earlier, God gave humans the unique ability to speak.  Yes, Polly may be trained to say she would like a cracker, but the truth is that our Creator gave us—human beings—the gift of speech, and so like everything He created, it exists for His glory.  Therefore, I know that not only does everything I do belong to God, but everything I say belongs to Him as well.  Along with Psalm 141:3¹ and Ephesians 4:29², my prayer is that I will not grieve the Holy Spirit with my words, and that the Holy Spirit will soften my heart towards others, softening which will begin show in the way I communicate. 

1. Psalm 141:3 “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!”

2. Ephesians 4:29 “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

The Call to Christian Accountability

As Christians, we are not meant to live out our faith alone.  Rather, God has created us for fellowship with others in the Christian community.  We may see this in Hebrews 12: 24-25, where we read: “And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” A major aspect of Christian community is accountability.  Most people, however, cringe at the thought of accountability.  Why?  There are numerous reasons for this, but to begin we must first understand what accountability is. 

As Christians, we need to realize that we are responsible and answerable for the manner in which we live our lives.  Ultimately, we are answerable to God, yet we are also answerable to fellow brothers and sisters whom God has placed in our lives.  Accountability, then, is the means by which we are answerable to one another, whereby we receive both encouragement and reproof, when needed.  Unfortunately, many relationships in life are superficial, and so accountability provides a way for us to share the deep inner workings of our lives in a mutual atmosphere of trust.  God has created us for Himself, and through accountability we are able to open up and be challenged in the varying aspects of our lives, all of which lead to character growth and maturity.  Accountability is undoubtedly one of the many tools God uses to sanctify His children. 

Because accountability calls us to be open and vulnerable, however, it comes as no surprise that many are adverse to it. In fact, before I had experienced the grace of an accountability relationship, I hid from it in fear, seeing is as an assault upon my lifestyle and plans.  Like many others, I did not want to hear my failures or become tied up in bringing them to the forefront of my attention.  I convinced myself that I could do well enough without the time-commitment and hassle of accountability.  Now having been in a relationship of accountability, however, I know that accountability is far more than confrontation (though at times we may need to be confronted or confront others).  Rather, accountability is more about challenging one another to grow in Christ’s likeness.  This accountability is essential for Christians to grow and produce Godly character and fruit.  In fact, I think it is safe to say that real growth cannot occur without it.  We must allow our human pride to yield to the need for accountability—we are not self-sufficient, and it is time we stop believing the world’s lie that we are. 

Another misunderstanding surrounding accountability is that it is reserved for those who are “weak” or “needy”, designed primarily to help along those who are struggling.   While this is true in that we are all weak and needy in sin, accountability is far more than this, for it is just as much for those who are strong and want to become stronger!  Sadly, the common belief is that accountability is not something that “real” women do, and especially not “real” men.  This is a lie from the pit, one meant to keep us in our present, self-dependent state!  No, “real” men (and women) pursue Christian accountability with other godly men and women.  And so, though accountability may not be what we would desire on our own, Christians nevertheless need to actively pursue it, humbling ourselves to the point of recognizing our weaknesses and our need to be held responsible.

And so, despite the dangerous misunderstanding that accountability is a system based on domination, manipulation, and the invasion of privacy, accountability is something far more beautiful.  Like sheep that are prone to wander, we too go astray, and so God provides us with Christians brothers and sisters to teach, exhort, support, and encourage us in our faith and hold us accountable to Him.  Accountability is where we develop relationships with fellow Christians to help drive us to a place where we are real, honest, and obedient to God.  Such relationships challenge us in our walk, and by allowing others to speak into our lives we allow the Holy Spirit and the truth of God’s Word to penetrate out lives through both inward spiritual conviction and faith.  

Video: When I Became a Man

Christ's Warriors and Satan's Attacks

Does Satan attack everyone equally? Well, why would Satan waste his limited time and effort on men and women who are already discouraged and defeated by sin?  Exactly.  He wouldn’t, for often in those cases, he has already won. Even if Satan can’t get a believer to openly reject God, he is content with lukewarmity, for it is here that men and women set aside their love and passion for God and grow increasingly content with the world.  Well then, who does Satan set his crosshairs on?  The answer then seems quite clear.  Satan is most intent on destroying those who through Christ are working the greatest damage against him—men and women who are living radical lives for God.   As William Gurnall said, "It is the image of God reflected in you that so enrages hell; it is this at which the demons hurl their mightiest weapons."

Spiritual warfare does exist.  As soldiers for Christ, however, we do not flail wildly at an enemy we cannot see and cannot understand.  We have been equipped with the full armor of God.  Ephesians 6: 13-18 paints a beautiful picture of the Christian warrior:   “Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm. Stand therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and, as shoes for your feet, having put on the readiness given by the gospel of peace. In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one; and take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God, praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication for all the saints.”

When God commanded us to stand firm in Him, He did not leave us to fend for ourselves.  No, we see here that God graciously equipped us for everything we need for battle.  Why is the believer called to be alert, however?  Is it not enough that we have all of God’s weapons at our fingertips? As believers, we are warned to remain alert because we are so easily taken captive by the lies of this world.  Yes, we have all the weapons we need for battle, but if we are not purposeful in putting them to use, we are simply like the girl playing dress-up in her grandmother’s attic—nothing fits, and though the priceless antiques give the appearance of age and maturity, they are nothing more than cheap playthings in the hands of this small child. The young child cannot appreciate the true value of the dresses, the strings of pearls and the heels, and so she plays about carelessly, unaware of the worth of these treasures.  We have been granted all we need to withstand the evil one, yet we must not become like the child who cannot appreciate the value of what she has been given.  For example, I know that the Word of God is sharper than any double-edged sword (Hebrew 4:12).  If, however, I am not diligent about spending time in the Word, pouring myself into it and seeking to be strengthened by it, there will come a time when I have fallen dull and weary.  It is here then that I am most vulnerable to Satan’s attacks, for apart from God’s Word seared into my heart as my source of Truth, I am easily deceived.

And so, what does all of this mean for me then?  If I am living a life of sin and compromise, I know that I am less likely to encounter Satan’s attacks. If I am purposefully living a life that honors Christ and impacts others, however, I can be sure that attacks will come.  However, I need not cower in fear, for in Christ I may stand tall and firm, confident that I have all the protection and weaponry I need to counter the attacks of the evil one. 

Strength to Strength: Spurgeon Devotional

"They go from strength to strength."  Psalm 84:7

They go from strength to strength. There are various renderings of these words, but all of them contain the idea of progress.

Our own good translation of the authorized version is enough for us this morning. "They go from strength to strength." That is, they grow stronger and stronger. Usually, if we are walking, we go from strength to weakness; we start fresh and in good order for our journey, but by-and-by the road is rough, and the sun is hot, we sit down by the wayside, and then again painfully pursue our weary way. But the Christian pilgrim having obtained fresh supplies of grace, is as vigorous after years of toilsome travel and struggle as when he first set out. He may not be quite so elate and buoyant, nor perhaps quite so hot and hasty in his zeal as he once was, but he is much stronger in all that constitutes real power, and travels, if more slowly, far more surely. Some gray-haired veterans have been as firm in their grasp of truth, and as zealous in diffusing it, as they were in their younger days; but, alas, it must be confessed it is often otherwise, for the love of many waxes cold and iniquity abounds, but this is their own sin and not the fault of the promise which still holds good: "The youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint." Fretful spirits sit down and trouble themselves about the future. "Alas!" say they, "we go from affliction to affliction." Very true, O thou of little faith, but then thou goest from strength to strength also. Thou shalt never find a bundle of affliction which has not bound up in the midst of it sufficient grace. God will give the strength of ripe manhood with the burden allotted to full-grown shoulders.

Skit Guys - God's Chisel Remastered

Cottages to Castles

IMAGINE YOURSELF as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what he is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.  But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is he up to? The explanation is that he is building quite a different house from the one you thought of — throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards.  You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building up a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself.

–C.S. Lewis, in Mere Christianity

With each passing month at school, I am learning that God is committed to something much bigger than my fickle happiness, something I am often incapable of seeing and appreciating—the restoration of what He has made.  What is more, I am also coming to understand that God will settle for nothing less than to see that all of His creation brings Him ultimate glory.  As His child, I am included in this.  I confess that too often I invite God into my life to change a part of me—a very narrow, specific part.  I establish what I believe needs work, and proceed to invite God in to change that very particular aspect of my life.  What I repeatedly fail to grasp, however, is that it isn’t only ______ or ______ or ______ that needs change, but rather, the entirety of my life and being is in desperate need of transformation.  My prayer is that I will surrender complete control and loosen my grasp on my fleeting life, allowing God to come work in and mold me as He will so that Christ may one day be reflected perfectly in me.  

Awful-Beautiful Conscience

 Awful-Beautiful Conscience

I would go ahead but there is a catch,

I long to act and move but I fear:

What I know in my head and feel in my heart don’t match

And though uncertain, my heart’s desires draw me near.

It is a great risk to obey the one at the cost of the other.

They say follow your heart, but what if it lies?

This I learned from the wisdom of my mother

For she too knows how the longing heart defies.

It would be wrong to go against my sense

I may act peacefully, but only when the two are in harmony;

And thus I was given a conscience for my defense

For great is the pain of defiance, and disobedience is folly.

Though it often causes pain, the blessed gift of conscience is indeed beautiful

It protects, for above all things the heart is deceitful.

Here is a sonnet I wrote for my British Literature class.  The theme is conflict, but more specifically, it is the frequent conflict between the passions and desires of my heart and my conscience.  My conscience is my mind’s power to pass moral judgment on myself, and so it serves to either approve or disapprove of all that I do.   Especially when I have committed wrong, my conscience is that which tells me that I deserve to suffer.  Essentially, my conscience is my internal moral compass which insists on judging me, and further judging me by the highest standard I know— Christ's standard.   In many ways, my conscience is God’s voice within me.  However, because of sin and the deceitfulness of a longing heart, my conscience may become seared and dull, and so I am vulnerable, because often my mind will convince me of what my heart desires.  Overall, though it causes pain when I fail, my conscience is a blessing, for it has the ability and awareness to assess my heart.  My conscience is a gift, and to disregard that which was given to protect and guide me would be both wrong and harmful.  

Crisis Man

"Father, make of me a crisis man. Bring those I contact to decision. Let me not be a milepost on a single road; make me a fork, that men must turn one way or another on facing Christ in me." –Jim Elliot

This challenges me.  Do I have the courage, the passion, and the faith to pray this prayer?  It will require deliberate boldness, but the more I love Christ, the more I will long to reflect my Savior to those He places before me.  As I bear the name of Christ, may I never forget my duty to bring glory honor and to that name.  May I never be the cause of turning someone away from Christ.  

Lifehouse Everything Skit

A Woman's Question

A WOMAN'S QUESTION

"Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing

Ever made by the hand above?

A woman's heart, and a woman's life--

And a woman's wonderful love.

Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing

As a child might ask for a toy?

Demanding what others have died to win

With the reckless dash of a boy.

You have written my lesson of duty out,

Manlike, you have questioned me.

Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul

Until I shall question thee.

You require your mutton shall always be hot,

Your socks and your shirt be whole;

I require your heart be as true as God's stars

And as pure as His heaven your soul.

You require a cook for your mutton and beef,

I require a far greater thing;

A seamstress you're wanting for socks and shirts---

I look for a man and a king.

A king for the beautiful realm called Home,

And a man that his Maker, God,

Shall look upon as he did on the first

And say: "It is very good."

I am fair and young, but the rose may fade

From this soft young cheeck one day;

Will you love me then, 'mid the falling leaves

As you did 'mong the blossoms of May?

Is your heart an ocean so strong and true,

I may launch my all on its tide?

A loving woman finds heaven or hell

On the day she is made a bride.

I require all things that are grand and true,

All things that a man should be;

If you give this all, I would stake my life

To be all you demand of me.

If you cannot be this, a laundress and cook

You can hire and little to pay;

But a woman's heart and a woman's life

Are not to be won that way."

--Lena Lathrop 

Waiting on the Lord: What's the point?

In a recent conversation with a good friend, I was asked why God so often delays when it comes to answering our prayers. The conversation arose because this particular friend was beginning to feel that all his heartfelt prayers were futile, and needless to say he was both frustrated and confused by the situation.  With each unanswered prayer, he has begun to ask himself what’s the point? 

This question seems to be one that many people wrestle with, even the strongest of Christians.  I truly believe, however, that our Father has reasons that only He knows for keeping us waiting.  I think that often delayed answers to prayer are God’s way of showing us His power and sovereignty in order that He may remind us that the power to give and withhold lies with Him and Him alone.  At other times, God may keep His children waiting in order to refine their desires.  For example, waiting on God may serve to create in us a more ardent desire, whereby we more fully realize our need for God and seek Him more earnestly.  And so, when God does finally answer His child’s prayer, that child will prize God’s merciful hand even more.  I also believe that there may be times where God withholds His hand because there is something wrong within the seeker.  Maybe we have imposed our will on God’s, or perhaps we still cling to our self-reliance instead of trusting completely our Lord and Savior, and so God waits until these wrongs are righted before He finally bestows His joy on us.  As a whole, however, I believe that God’s delayed answers are an act of mercy, whereby His desire in making us wait is so that He may more fully display the riches of His grace to us in His proper timing.

And so, as many of us often find ourselves asking, what is the point?  The point is that we may rest assured knowing that our prayers are not forgotten, but rather that they are heard and filed safely away in Heaven.  An unanswered prayer is no reason to despair, and the wait is not meant to draw us into silence, but rather to continue in earnest supplication.  

All is Vanity: Spurgeon Devotional

"Behold, all is vanity."
 Ecclesiastes 1:14

Nothing can satisfy the entire man but the Lord's love and the Lord's own self. Saints have tried to anchor in other roadsteads, but they have been driven out of such fatal refuges. Solomon, the wisest of men, was permitted to make experiments for us all, and to do for us what we must not dare to do for ourselves. Here is his testimony in his own words: "So I was great, and increased more than all that were before me in Jerusalem: also my wisdom remained with me. And whatsoever mine eyes desired I kept not from them, I withheld not my heart from any joy; for my heart rejoiced in all my labour: and this was my portion of all my labour. Then I looked on all the works that my hands had wrought, and on the labour that I had laboured to do: and, behold, all was vanity and vexation of spirit, and there was no profit under the sun." "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity." What! the whole of it vanity? O favoured monarch, is there nothing in all thy wealth? Nothing in that wide dominion reaching from the river even to the sea? Nothing in Palmyra's glorious palaces? Nothing in the house of the forest of Lebanon? In all thy music and dancing, and wine and luxury, is there nothing? "Nothing," he says, "but weariness of spirit." This was his verdict when he had trodden the whole round of pleasure. To embrace our Lord Jesus, to dwell in his love, and be fully assured of union with him--this is all in all. Dear reader, you need not try other forms of life in order to see whether they are better than the Christian's: if you roam the world around, you will see no sights like a sight of the Saviour's face; if you could have all the comforts of life, if you lost your Saviour, you would be wretched; but if you win Christ, then should you rot in a dungeon, you would find it a paradise; should you live in obscurity, or die with famine, you will yet be satisfied with favour and full of the goodness of the Lord

Stand Still: Spurgeon Devotional

"Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord."

 Exodus 14:13

These words contain God's command to the believer when he is reduced to great straits and brought into extraordinary difficulties. He cannot retreat; he cannot go forward; he is shut up on the right hand and on the left; what is he now to do? The Master's word to him is, "Stand still." It will be well for him if at such times he listens only to his Master's word, for other and evil advisers come with their suggestions. Despair whispers, "Lie down and die; give it all up." But God would have us put on a cheerful courage, and even in our worst times, rejoice in his love and faithfulness. Cowardice says, "Retreat; go back to the worldling's way of action; you cannot play the Christian's part, it is too difficult. Relinquish your principles." But, however much Satan may urge this course upon you, you cannot follow it if you are a child of God. His divine fiat has bid thee go from strength to strength, and so thou shalt, and neither death nor hell shall turn thee from thy course. What, if for a while thou art called to stand still, yet this is but to renew thy strength for some greater advance in due time. Precipitancy cries, "do something. Stir yourself; to stand still and wait, is sheer idleness." We must be doing something at once--we must do it so we think--instead of looking to the Lord, who will not only do something but will do everything. Presumption boasts, "If the sea be before you, march into it and expect a miracle." But Faith listens neither to Presumption, nor to Despair, nor to Cowardice, nor to Precipitancy, but it hears God say, "Stand still," and immovable as a rock it stands. "Stand still;"--keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, "Go forward."

Summer and Winter King: Spurgeon Devotional

"Thou hast made summer and winter."

Psalm 74:17

My soul begin this wintry month with thy God. The cold snows and the piercing winds all remind thee that he keeps his covenant with day and night, and tend to assure thee that he will also keep that glorious covenant which he has made with thee in the person of Christ Jesus. He who is true to his Word in the revolutions of the seasons of this poor sin-polluted world, will not prove unfaithful in his dealings with his own well-beloved Son.

Winter in the soul is by no means a comfortable season, and if it be upon thee just now it will be very painful to thee: but there is this comfort, namely, that the Lord makes it. He sends the sharp blasts of adversity to nip the buds of expectation: he scattereth the hoarfrost like ashes over the once verdant meadows of our joy: he casteth forth his ice like morsels freezing the streams of our delight. He does it all, he is the great Winter King, and rules in the realms of frost, and therefore thou canst not murmur. Losses, crosses, heaviness, sickness, poverty, and a thousand other ills, are of the Lord's sending, and come to us with wise design. Frosts kill noxious insects, and put a bound to raging diseases; they break up the clods, and sweeten the soil. O that such good results would always follow our winters of affliction!

How we prize the fire just now! how pleasant is its cheerful glow! Let us in the same manner prize our Lord, who is the constant source of warmth and comfort in every time of trouble. Let us draw nigh to him, and in him find joy and peace in believing. Let us wrap ourselves in the warm garments of his promises, and go forth to labours which befit the season, for it were ill to be as the sluggard who will not plough by reason of the cold; for he shall beg in summer and have nothing.

***Spurgeon's Morning and Evening

Domesticating Jesus

Luke 4:16-30 "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me...to proclaim good news to the poor. ...to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor" (vv. 18-19).

Even those who have not formally studied the doctrine of Christ have constructed some kind of Christology. Many Americans think Jesus came to give them a "better life" in the here and now and to help them make friends and win influence. Others say Jesus would join movements to protect and conserve the earth's resources or engage in other "environmentally-friendly" practices. Innumerable people understand Jesus to be the supreme ethical teacher who is concerned with accepting all into His kingdom even if they never repent of sin.

Friendship, the stewardship of creation, and the love of others are all praised in Scripture (Gen. 1:28; Prov. 17:17; 1 John 3:16); however, reducing the purpose and teaching of our Lord to any of these things ends up domesticating Him. A domesticated Jesus embraces the culture's values without challenging them; He is a "safe" Jesus who is no threat to the established way of doing things.

Yet Christ did not come into the world to be "nice" or "safe," and the Jesus we find in the Gospels cannot be domesticated. He brings a salvation that turns our values upside-down. Instead of the proud and arrogant, He exalts those of humble estate ( Luke 1:52). Christ's coming produces peace among His people, but it also sets the fallen world against His own (4:16-30). The scandal of the cross brings with it the promise of a final, cosmic redemption that will include all who believe. At the same time it becomes a stumbling block to unrepentant Jews and foolishness to hardened Gentiles (1 Cor. 1:18-31).

Though we know these truths, we also run the risk of domesticating Jesus, albeit in a different way. Often we limit His work to giving us a clean heart so that we may live forever in heaven. Certainly, our Savior is concerned with individual redemption, and only individuals who put their faith in Christ alone will be saved, But individual redemption is only part of His intent to redeem all creation. Our Lord's full purpose is to bring a new heavens and earth in which we will dwell with Him forever (Isa. 65:17-25; 2 Peter 3:13). A Christology that does not take into account the reality of future, resurrected life and the renewal of all things is one that is severely lacking.

***this was taken from Tabletalk Devotions with R.C. Sproul

Stars and Whales

Every time I watch and hear this I get chills.  The praise-worthy magnificence of our God and Creator is absolutely mind-blowing!!!

Movie Night

My freshman year of college I walked out of a dorm room movie night with my friends, an act that resulted in a major scene that left certain friends bewildered and others angry even.  As a result of my refusal to watch The Ugly Truth, I was bitterly called everything from “critical” and “ridiculously naïve” to “fun-sucking”.  For the first time in my life I was even called a “prude”.    Now a junior, I still receive flack for that night two years ago where I walked out of a “great” and “funny” movie which “accurately” portrays our world.  I believe that movie, however, and our fascination with turning towards others like it for “entertainment” only testifies to the crudely depraved and sin-filled world we live in.

Just recently, I was put in a similar situation to what happened my freshman year.  Only this time, the night went quite differently. I was with the same group of friends, and we were only minutes into our movie before I knew that I had no business sitting in that living room.  The movie was beyond distasteful—it was vulgar in the most extreme sense of the word, containing foul language, lusty young men and loose women.  As a whole, the messages it portrayed stood in direct opposition to everything I claim and hold to be true.  It was my freshman dorm room movie night all over again. 

And so, what was my response?  Did I say something to the others?  Did I get up and leave?  No.  I was given the opportunity to reflect Christ to my friends, an opportunity from which I fled.  I believe at one point I said “This is awful!” and then I continued to sit there.  Rather than face the criticism of my friends (both believers and non-believers) or go through the arduous process of explaining myself and thereby causing a huge disruption, I sat passively by through a movie I was out of line to watch. I was wrong to be there, but I took what I thought to be the easy way out.   My cowardly response was to compromise. 

Needless to say, I felt dirty and sick to my stomach, deeply aware of the fact that I had blatantly ignored the convictions of the Spirit inside me.  As a result, I failed to live as Christ—I was not watchful and I did not stand firm.  Rather, I acted in complete cowardice and selfishness.

Since then, I have acknowledged my wrong and sought the forgiveness of each of my friends present that night.  I am still, however, left with this question: As a Christian, what should my thoughts, words, and actions look?  I am called to be “in the world but not of the world,” yet this is a hard line to walk.  My prayer is that Christ will continue to pour His Spirit into me, thereby granting me not only the wisdom and discernment to know His truth, but also the boldness to stand firm in that truth.  

Accepted in the Beloved

The following morning devotional from Charles Spurgeon was forwarded on to me by my mom.  I love it!  What a wonderful assurance I am given!

"Accepted in the beloved."  Ephesians 1:6

What a state of privilege! It includes our justification before God, but the term "acceptance" in the Greek means more than that. It signifies that we are the objects of divine complacence, nay, even of divine delight. How marvelous that we, worms, mortals, sinners, should be the objects of divine love! But it is only "in the beloved." Some Christians seem to be accepted in their own experience, at least, that is their apprehension. When their spirit is lively, and their hopes bright, they think God accepts them, for they feel so high, so heavenly-minded, so drawn above the earth! But when their souls cleave to the dust, they are the victims of the fear that they are no longer accepted. If they could but see that all their high joys do not exalt them, and all their low despondencies do not really depress them in their Father's sight, but that they stand accepted in One who never alters, in One who is always the beloved of God, always perfect, always without spot or wrinkle, or any such thing, how much happier they would be, and how much more they would honour the Saviour! Rejoice then, believer, in this: thou art accepted "in the beloved." Thou lookest within, and thou sayest, "There is nothing acceptable here!" But look at Christ, and see if there is not everything acceptable there. Thy sins trouble thee; but God has cast thy sins behind his back, and thou art accepted in the Righteous One. Thou hast to fight with corruption, and to wrestle with temptation, but thou art already accepted in him who has overcome the powers of evil. The devil tempts thee; be of good cheer, he cannot destroy thee, for thou art accepted in him who has broken Satan's head. Know by full assurance thy glorious standing. Even glorified souls are not more accepted than thou art. They are only accepted in heaven "in the beloved," and thou art even now accepted in Christ after the same manner.

My Illusion of Control and The Reason for Hope

I am naturally a planner.  In fact, for anyone who has ever been near enough to take a quick glance at my color-coded calendar, this is quite obvious.   Never before, however, have I thought of myself as a “control-freak”.  Honestly, that combination sounds quite extreme and harsh for describing my “conscientious” and “responsible” planning.  Others might very well be possessively controlling, but certainly not me.  This is what I, in my pride, often believe.

Now, before I continue, I want to explain that I am not arguing that planning is either “bad” or “wrong”.  That would be untrue, for planning is indeed wise. It is my desperate need to manage, however, and my response when things don’t go according to plan that I am trying to address.    

So, why am I so caught up in planning? And why, when things begin to fall apart, do I fall into a frenzy of fear and anxiety? I believe it is because we all act on what we believe to be true—I may give all the lip service I want to my faith, but in the end, my actions will testify to the true state of my heart, speaking louder than my words ever could.  And so, if I fall apart when I begin to lose control of                      (s), it is because I am looking to                        (s), instead of Christ, for my source of hope, comfort, joy, peace and identity.  My idols are anything apart from Christ of which I say, “I must have it, for without it my life is meaningless.”

Through this past week’s sermon God forced me to take a long, deep, hard look at my heart. He showed me that my worries arise when my thoughts and hopes are centered on anything else than Him and His will for my life.  So often I refuse to let God be God.  By this, I mean that I regularly fail to trust God enough to completely surrender my life and the circumstances of my life to Him.  I instead seek to manage the people and situations around me, and at the slightest threat of losing control I become anxious and restless, only further tightening my grip on the often already floundering situation. This struggle to regain control only brings forth further fear and anxiety that results in a steep and downward-spiraling cycle, one which leaves me crying out in despair. 

Through the work of the Holy Spirit I am coming to see that the worry, fear, and anxiety that leave the soul desperate and depressed are ultimately rooted in unbelief—unbelief in God’s grace, goodness, mercy, love, and power.  Do I believe that what I believe is really real?  Do I have complete faith in the object of my faith, which is Christ?  If I truly believe that my Lord is really real, and that His will is to bring about my good and His glory, then my fears and anxieties are not justified.  My Lord and Savior is intimately concerned with the details of my life, and on Him I may cast all my anxieties, for He sees my need and cares for me.  

I am not in control, and it’s time I stop feeding the lie that I am.   The fear and anxieties and constant reminders of my powerlessness will eat away at me if I continue to strive as I have.  And so, I must daily ask myself if I am living in accordance with what I believe to be true.  I have spent my life creating an illusion of control, a great burden that I am invited to give up. If I surrender completely and joyfully to Christ, I have all the peace of Christ’s assurance, and for that I need not be afraid.  I want to humbly and joyfully surrender myself to Christ, to submit to His rule, to rest in the hope and freedom He promises!  

State Fair Reality

Two week ago, my entire extended family embarked on the annual Minnesota State Fair adventure.  About an hour into the fair, my younger brother, Rein, discovered that he had lost his wallet. After a few frantic moments of searching through his pockets and even the stroller, he sprinted off to re-trace his steps, only to return to us later downtrodden and empty-handed.

I had just recently completed Paul Miller’s book “A Praying Life” in which he wrote “Prayer is a moment of incarnation—God with us. God involved in the details of my life." Details. Immediately this quote came to mind and I remembered that I worship the Creator of the universe, a Being so powerful He merely had to speak the words “let there be” and the world was formed.   Think about that.  He spoke our world into existence.  (I wish I could speak my bed into making itself!)

But so, I thought, if God could speak the world into existence, surely He had the power to return my brother’s wallet.  And so I began to pray.  It went something like this:

Dear God, I know you are aware of what just happened with Rein’s wallet and I ask that you somehow return it to him.  Maybe even allow some kind person….

And there I suddenly stopped.  I looked around at the crammed streets.  Who was I kidding?  The average daily attendance for the State Fair is often over one hundred and fifty. Thousand.  And we were there on opening day.  Great.  My brother’s wallet was gone.  The chances of an honest person finding his wallet were, in my opinion, impossible—none of them could be so compassionate. In the few seconds it had taken me to scan the streets, Reality had been completely forgotten.  I instead replaced Reality with reality, exchanging God’s Truth for the perceived harshness and certainty of my own situation.  No longer was God the supreme power of the universe, whose love for His children is so great that not even the mundane events or circumstances of our lives are too trivial for His attention.  That God no longer had the power to act, not against this many people.  For Him to act was unrealistic, statistically inconceivable even.  And so, what had begun as a genuine and heartfelt prayer came to an abrupt end with a quick “nevermind.”  Case closed.

Or so I thought.  But God had something else in mind. Even though I had written Him off, God was about to make me completely aware of His intimate involvement in the day-to-day details of my life. Within only a few hours of my “nevermind”, God came forward to shatter my pre-conceived notions of Him by reshaping my day—it was there, in the most unexpected turn of events, that I encountered the living God of the universe.   

It thus came about that as we were leaving the State Fair a family member encouraged my brother to check the Lost and Found.  I confess that after the day’s earlier disappointment, I thought this to be a waste of time.  As I waited with my family for my brother’s return, all of my earlier skepticisms come flooding back.  In my mind I chided my brother’s carelessness and criticized myself for believing in the possible goodness of these thousands of other fair-goers. I confess that I even wished a mound of guilty torment on the wallet’s finder and keeper.  Visibly agitated, I was just turning to impatiently ask my mom what was taking my brother so long, when, to my shock, he came running towards us.  Face beaming, he waved, holding in his hand the lost wallet.  Not a single thing was missing—everything was accounted for, from his gift cards, driving permit and debit card, down to even the neatly folded one hundred dollar bill. 

I was stunned.  As the family gathered excitedly around Rein, I couldn’t help but remember my last words towards God—“nevermind.”  Though I hadn’t recognized it earlier, those eight letters had been a denial of God, for their roots lay coiled around disbelief, skepticism, and ultimately a lack of faith.  I was ashamed of myself, for I had doubted both my Father’s will and ability to act, and yet He had done both.   Once more, God had reached down to prove Himself to me, to validate His authority and actively demonstrate His tender care for His children. 

And so, as convicting as this experience was, I am blessed that God acted as He did.  Prior to this, I often stated that nothing is too great for God’s attention, and yet I myself often failed to believe those same words.  The reason I know this is because I wouldn’t come to God with what I perceived as “trivial” matters—they weren’t big enough or important enough for me to bother His time with.  Now, however, every time that I begin to doubt I am reminded of God’s presence that day at the State Fair and reassured that nothing is too far below or beyond His power to act.  As His child, my heavenly Father longs for me to come before Him and cast all my cares and burdens on Him, even the dirtiest of details.  Though He is the highest Being in the universe and thus has a hand over all my life, He longs to be invited into the particulars of my life.  As I lay these at His feet, I surrender myself to His loving care.  He will act in accordance with His will, and His will is to bring about my greatest good and His highest glory.  What greater comfort is there than to surrender our details to the Creator of details?  Will we relinquish them to Him, or will we hide them away, keeping them to ourselves with a faithless “nevermind”?